Teenage girl #1: Well, did you know he was going to come all over your chest, or was that a suprise?
Teenage girl #2: I don’t think he even realized he was doing it.
Teenage girl #1: Oh…I think I see some of it in your hair.
–Crosstown bus, 79th St
Overheard by: very interested
Wall Street guy #1: I haven’t seen that guy with the toupee on the train since I said something.
Wall Street guy #2: Do you think he heard you?
Wall Street guy #1: Maybe. Maybe he committed suicide.
–Uptown 4 train
Blonde: You know what? I wish I was a bird.
Brunette: So you could fly far, far away?
Blonde: No, so I could sit on electrical fences and not get shocked.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Bay Jyington
Girl: I’ve never been blonde, like blonde. I had blonde roots once.
–Duane Reade, 34th & 8th
Overheard by: Rita E.
Woman: The color of the car is not burgundy; it’s purple.
Man: No, I think it’s burgundy.
Woman: No, it’s purple. I should know what purple is, I used to have purple hair.
Man: …You had purple hair?…When did you have purple hair?
–58th between 8th & 9th
Little girl: Don’t pull my hair!
Mom: I wasn’t! I was just holding on.
Little girl: To my hair?
–D train
Man #1: Eli has got some issues, some hair issues.
Man #2: Yeah, they used to call him an overretarded baby bird; now they just call him the bird’s nest.
–43rd & 8th
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Girl #1: I cut myself shaving.
Girl #2: That sucks. I shaved my twat.
Girl #1: What about your legs?
Girl #2: Nope.
Girl #1: Then why your junk?
Girl #2: I was bored
Girl #1: So you shave random things when bored?
Girl #2: Yep! Besides, I guess my twat needed it the most. It was a damn jungle down there; I could almost hear the tiger roar.
–Central Park
Crazy woman: Get out of my way Andrea!
Guy: Wow, I didn’t know my name was Andrea; maybe I should grow my hair out so I at least look the part.
–Fairway, 74th & Broadway
Accounting lady: What did you do to your hair?
Mailroom guy: It’s called the wet look.
Accounting lady: Oh yeah? What’s that?
Mailroom guy: I sprinkle some water on my head.
–Office, 58th & Broadway
Girl #1: I’m getting my hair cut when I go home next week. I don’t trust New York hairdressers. Last time, they charged me too much and gave me a crappy cut where one side was longer than the other.
Girl #2: It was probably some sort of hipster thing, that’s why it cost so much.
Girl #1: What, like I’m paying a licensing fee to rebroadcast her creativity on my head?…I guess so.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Julia Kite
