Hip student #1: How's Libby?
Hip student #2: She's good. We're getting along really great. We eat dinner together every night. She's really smart and she's so pretty. The only problem is…
Hip student #1: The only problem is what?
Hip student #2: I think I might be allergic to her fur.
–Columbia Campus, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: some girl
Waspy girl to gaggle of friends: You know, medium-rare is, like, totally the new medium. You know what I mean? (friends stare blankly) No, I guess you wouldn't.
–6 Train
Overheard by: I Like Mine Bleeding
B&T CSR: Pork killed my father.
–80 Pine St
Overheard by: It's me
Stroller-pushing mom to friend: I gotta do something about her leg! It looks like freeze-dried meat.
–DeKalb & Washington, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Morning Glory
NYU girl to friend: My hair smells like meat.
–NYU Kimmel Center
Overheard by: evanescent
Girl to friend: This is my pi system: it's like a sausage.
–NYU Classroom
Man to can of corned beef: God, you understand me so well.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Murphy
Wife: Is Ozzy Osbourne the one with the long blonde hair?
Husband: He's not blonde! He's done drugs his whole life!
Wife: Is he black?
Husband: No, you're thinking of Gene Simmons.
Wife: Oh, of course! (pause) No, I think I was thinking of Lady Gaga.
–BB King's, Times Square
Chick: Oh my god, my hair is so dark!
Stylist guy: Does it look fake?
Chick: No, I just didn’t know it would be this dark.
Stylist guy: Well, it will look lighter when your hair dries.
Chick: Really?
–Ibiza Hair Salon, 4th Avenue
Overheard by: Kenzi
Nine-year-old girl #1: My mom says that she was in so much pain giving birth to me that they had to give her surgery. My head was too big.
Nine-year-old girl #2: Your head is not big!
Nine-year-old girl #1: Yeah, but when I was a baby it was huge.
Nine-year-old girl #2: Weird. Did you have some sort of disease?
Nine-year-old girl #1: No, but when I came out I wasn't crying, I was twirling my hair.
–Mannes College of Music
20-something guy to female friend leaving house party: If you see Sophia, say hi to her. She's never been to our place before, so just let her know how to get in.
Female friend: I have no idea what she looks like!
20-something guy: She has curly hair!
Female friend, walking outside: I am so going to fuck this up.
–86th St & Lexington
Ghetto black woman to four-year-old son: The ice ain't gonna respect you, you gotta respect the ice, nigga.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Steven
Obnoxiously loud drunk guy: I need a girl who will respect my receding hairline!
–Virgil's, W 44th St
Overheard by: Check, please!
Thugette: I'm just going to say, "Look, I mean no disrespect, but go fuck yourself. I mean no disrespect, but just go fuck yourself."
–6 Train
Overheard by: i mean disrespect
20-something guy to friend: Man, you don't understand. I really respect this broad…
–35th St & Lexington
Little girl in stroller (screaming): Touch ma hair! Touch ma hair! Touch me hair!
Mother: Sweetie, please be quiet.
Little girl: Touch ma hair! Touch ma hair!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: HMS
Guy: Let’s see…I’ve got a dollar, and a pubic hair.
–49th & 8th
Black guy: Why would a young black girl dye her hair blonde? Looks terrible, y’know.
Whitey: Um, yeah. Bad idea.
Black guy: Bitch looked like a burnt grilled cheese sandwich.
–One Penn Plaza
