Nine-year-old girl #1: My mom says that she was in so much pain giving birth to me that they had to give her surgery. My head was too big.
Nine-year-old girl #2: Your head is not big!
Nine-year-old girl #1: Yeah, but when I was a baby it was huge.
Nine-year-old girl #2: Weird. Did you have some sort of disease?
Nine-year-old girl #1: No, but when I came out I wasn't crying, I was twirling my hair.
–Mannes College of Music
20-something guy to female friend leaving house party: If you see Sophia, say hi to her. She's never been to our place before, so just let her know how to get in.
Female friend: I have no idea what she looks like!
20-something guy: She has curly hair!
Female friend, walking outside: I am so going to fuck this up.
–86th St & Lexington
Ghetto black woman to four-year-old son: The ice ain't gonna respect you, you gotta respect the ice, nigga.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Steven
Obnoxiously loud drunk guy: I need a girl who will respect my receding hairline!
–Virgil's, W 44th St
Overheard by: Check, please!
Thugette: I'm just going to say, "Look, I mean no disrespect, but go fuck yourself. I mean no disrespect, but just go fuck yourself."
–6 Train
Overheard by: i mean disrespect
20-something guy to friend: Man, you don't understand. I really respect this broad…
–35th St & Lexington
Little girl in stroller (screaming): Touch ma hair! Touch ma hair! Touch me hair!
Mother: Sweetie, please be quiet.
Little girl: Touch ma hair! Touch ma hair!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: HMS
Guy: Let’s see…I’ve got a dollar, and a pubic hair.
–49th & 8th
Black guy: Why would a young black girl dye her hair blonde? Looks terrible, y’know.
Whitey: Um, yeah. Bad idea.
Black guy: Bitch looked like a burnt grilled cheese sandwich.
–One Penn Plaza
Cute blonde: So, I thought I might like him, and we went on some fun dates, but then he shaved his head and now I can’t go out with him.
Friend: Wait — what’s wrong with him shaving his head?
Cute blonde: Well, nothing in theory, but now he looks like a terrorist.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: uptown girl
Headline by: Sarah K
Runners-Up:
· “…Or Ghandi, Whichever.” – Johnny
· “And He Wants Me to Call Him Britney in Bed” – Sim Etrias
· “And the Anthrax in His Apartment Is No Picnic Either” – Naked Lunch
· “Oh, Whew… I Thought You Said, “tourist”” – Rhadamanthus
· “Plus, I Wouldn’t Qualify As One Of His 72 Virgins” – MarioRPG
· “Racial Profiling Is So Hot Right Now” – Fran
Girl #1: So I had this dream where I had this little baby, and it was bald.
Girl #2: Oh yeah?
Girl #1: So I mean, it was a boy.
–6 train
Overheard by: marla rosenthal
Dumb chick #1: What are those Jewish people with the curls called?
Dumb chick #2: I think they're called “aesthetic Jews.” Or “hestetic Jews.”
Dumb chick #1: Oh. I though they were Amish.
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Overheard by: I know what they're called
Female hipster #1: Oh my god, I love your haircut!
Female hipster #2: Thanks…I asked for a mix of Suri Cruise, Anna Wintour and Nicole Richie circa 2005.
–27th St & 7th St
