Guy #1: I try to stay away from Italian women.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Because they are hairy.
–Broadway & 50th
Overheard by: Keithrez
Guy #1: I try to stay away from Italian women.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Because they are hairy.
–Broadway & 50th
Overheard by: Keithrez
Girl #1: Oh my god! I haven’t seen you in ages!
Girl #2: I know, it’s been a while — you look great!
Girl #1: You do, too! Your hair has grown a lot since I last saw you.
Girl #2: I know what you mean — it’s all it does.
–E 86th St and Lex
Overheard by: Lisa
Hipster girl: Would you say my hair is dirty-blonde or not?
Hipster guy: It looks clean to me.
Hipster girl: I didn’t mean the hair on my head.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Brown Carpet and Drapes
Drunk ponytailed guy: So, like what’s our situation?
Girl: Ummm, what do you mean?
Drunk ponytailed guy: Like do you … want me to come up?
Girl: What part of your ponytail makes you think I’d go home with you tonight?
–Bleecker & MacDougal
Straight guy: I need to change my hair. Four out of five girls with that bachelorette party last night thought I was gay.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Phil
Guy: Listen, it’s not hair replacement. It’s a system.
–Sterling & 7th, Park Slope
Overheard by: A White Bear
White guy: Yeah, and I ripped out her weave.. it was awesome!
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Amelia D
Hobo: All Democrats must have pink hair, by mandate of the homeless Republican!
–12th & 6th
Overheard by: theNJl
Ghetto girl: She wanted to charge me $400 for my hair. She was gonna charge me by the pound! Who charges for hair by the pound? I could get my homegirl to do it for $20. Never buy your hair from someone in the ‘hood!
–5 train, 125th St
Overheard by: La Liz
Bald queer: Oh, now I have to do my hair again. It’s so difficult to keep my hands out of it!
–Elevator, 1250 Broadway
Hobo: All Democrats must dye their hair pink! All Democrats must dye their hair pink. Pink is the color of pussies! Therefore, all Democrats are pussies!
–16th & 8th
Overheard by: My hair isn’t pink and I’m voting for Spitzer
Man having trouble with the levers on his voting machine: Wait, I know what the problem is…I’m a Republican!
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Not a Republican
Young fireman to conspiracy nut: You liberal bastard. I hope you die
in a fire. Motherfucker.
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: Jeremy C.
Hobo walking in the rain, yelling: All Democrats are Al Sharpton cock-suckers! The only question is do they spit or swallow the cum!
–12th St & 5th Ave
Mother: Are you sure you want to eat that?
Daughter: Mom! Do you know how that makes me feel? You know how you feel when I make fun of your hair. Now compound that by a hundred. I have a Ph.D. and a fat ass. It’s who I am.
Mother: You make fun of my hair?
–Cafe, MoMA
Overheard by: nothing wrong with her hair
Schoolgirl #1: You know that tall short blond girl?
Schoolgirl #2: You just described about 250 girls in our school.
Schoolgirl #1: Um… the one who isn’t a whore.
Schoolboy: That narrows it down to about five.
–Manhattan bound F train
Overheard by: Fareeda
Dude #1: So what’s going on with *Paige?
Dude #2: Oh! She doesn’t have cancer!
Dude #3: Sweet! Let’s get mohawks!
Dude #1: Well, there goes my night.
–Arion & Broadway, Bushwick
Girl: People always label me. They don’t take the time to get to know me. I’m the “Really, Really Nice Girl That’s Always Happy. With a Great Smile.”
–LIRR
Overheard by: Adina
Hipster girl, to hipster guy: Does smiling hurt you? It hurts you to smile?
–Top of the Rock, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: gus
Singing hobos, in unison: Smile, it won’t mess up your hair!
–1 train
10-Year-Old girl: His smile haunts me.
–Dinosaur BBQ, Harlem
Overheard by: megan
Tourist dad, posing his family in front of WTC site: Smile, kids!
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: Mike Pobega
Compassionate guy: Nothing warms my heart more than a smiling retard.
–Union Square
