(20-something woman hands hobo a dollar bill)
Hobo: A dollar? All you can spare is a lousy dollar?
20-something woman: Fine! Give it back!
–42nd & Madison
(20-something woman hands hobo a dollar bill)
Hobo: A dollar? All you can spare is a lousy dollar?
20-something woman: Fine! Give it back!
–42nd & Madison
Crazy ranting hobo: Y’all need to get your shit together! You hear me, humans? Your shit is all outta whack! You’re all over the place like a bunch of crazy croutons and tomatoes in a crazy salad!
Man: Did that dude just call us croutons?
–A train
Overheard by: big fat crouton
Hobo: So I beat her ass good! I told her, don’t you ever say you’ll leave me!…Hey man, you got an extra cigarette?
Suit: Nope, last one.
Hobo: Come on, man, why can’t we all love each other in unity? It don’t cost much.
–Brooklyn Heights
Hobo: Hey, lady, can ya please spare some change?
Chick: You need subway fare? I think I have a few bucks left on my metro card…
Hobo: That ain’t gonna help me, bitch. It’s booze I need! Booze!
–53rd & Lex station
Hobo: Sorry to interrupt, but I’m starving. Please help me to get some candy and a soda.
Chick: How about a perfectly good pear? You know, if you’re so hungry.
The hobo walks away angry and disgusted; 20 feet later he turns around to give her a dirty look.
Chick: Obviously you’re not that hungry–and it’s called pop!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: James Lin
Bag lady: Can you spare some change?
Woman: No, I’m sorry.
Bag lady: Is that your boyfriend? Lose him.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Husband.
Old woman: I don’t care what the fuck he says, I was a pirate in my last life, and I was on eight pirate ships!
–Williamsburg
Hobo: She was a…Mormon, no, not a Mormon. A Mormon! No, not a Mormon. What’s that religion that’s against violence? Not a Mormon, not a Mormon…a Quaker! That’s right, you know, a Mormon. It’s a circle of friends so I could just go in there and say, “Hey, I’m a Jew. I am against violence.” And they would wanna be my friends, the Mormons.
–Union Square
Sailor: I can’t believe that stripper stole your book.
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: Doug Singer
Girl: I would have been complimented if he’d been fine…but I believe he was homeless.
–21st & 7th
Overheard by: The Radford
Hobo #1: What the fuck are you doing?
Hobo #2: Taking a piss.
Hobo #1: Oh!
Hobo #2: Since when is pissing on a tree illegal? This is a free country, motherfucker.
Hobo #1: I know.
–Central Park
Working man: Yo, what's that?
Hobo, shaking cup of coins: Huh?
Working man: What is that?
Hobo: It's a cup, you got any money?
Working man: Yeah, I got money in my pocket.
Hobo: Well, gimme some!
Working man: I ain't got money to be givin' away. I just did my eight hours.
Hobo: Well, I'm gettin' my eight hours too, shit!
–F Train
Overheard by: ninja
Metalhead, playing guitar and singing: Buy some fuckin' poptarts /buy some fuckin' weed/ buy some fuckin' cigarettes/buy everything you need!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: j
Singing hobo pushing cart: I am wiiiise. I am wise!
–Union Square Station
Overly flamboyant gay guy, singing: I kissed a girl and I liked iiiit. (swishes hips while walking)
–11th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Mal Sullivan
Singing gay guy to another, clapping hands in rhythm: You look like a cunt, you act like a cunt, you smell like a cunt, you feel like a cunt…
–2 Train
Overheard by: drew
Hobo, getting into train and taking out electric guitar and amp: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please! This song is for the white lady with the orange pocketbook. She reminds me of Martha Stewart…when she got out of jail. (starts singing) 3 train white lady is my girl, my girl, my girl!
–Downtown 3 Train
Overheard by: Jingles
Little girl in stroller, singing happily: Doe, a deer, a hee-hale deer. Ray, a drop of golden pee-pee…
–E Train
