New York Agrees: Wednesday One-Liners Are the People’s Choice

Hobo: All Democrats must dye their hair pink! All Democrats must dye their hair pink. Pink is the color of pussies! Therefore, all Democrats are pussies!

–16th & 8th

Overheard by: My hair isn’t pink and I’m voting for Spitzer

Man having trouble with the levers on his voting machine: Wait, I know what the problem is…I’m a Republican!

–Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: Not a Republican

Young fireman to conspiracy nut: You liberal bastard. I hope you die
in a fire. Motherfucker.

–Ground Zero

Overheard by: Jeremy C.

Hobo walking in the rain, yelling: All Democrats are Al Sharpton cock-suckers! The only question is do they spit or swallow the cum!

–12th St & 5th Ave

Posted on October 11, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Colors, Democrats, Ground Zero, Guys, Hair, Hobos, Insults, Politics, Republicans, The Village

Wednesday One-Liners Are on Red Alert

Guy accepting donations: Help feed the homeless! Even terrorists can help feed the homeless!

–34th & 7th

Overheard by: sugar ray mcgrath

Hobo: If you see an unattended bag or package, please report it to the nearest New York Police Officer or MTA worker. If one is not around, tell me. I’ll open that shit up.

–4 train, Fulton St

Overheard by: Laura

Hobo, to tourist family taking group photo: Terrorist! Terrorist! Terrorist!

–C Train, 72nd St

Overheard by: Barry P.

British tourist: But there were two Empire State buildings, right? That fell?

–WTC site

Overheard by: J Bird

Girl: Last night, I was so drunk I forgot about 9/11.

–NYU

Overheard by: Bronwyn

Lady to nervous woman: Can I ask you a question? I ain’t a terrorist or nothin’. I’m from New Haven.

–111th & Broadway

Overheard by: Fudd

British bloke: You mean they don’t have any missiles here, in Manhattan?

–Grand & Broadway

Overheard by: jcm

Posted on October 4, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Comedians, Drinking & Drunk People, Foreigners, Ground Zero, Hobos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nice People, NYU, On the Subway, Terrorism, Tourists, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

I’m Just High on God, Officer

Guy: If I can be a good crackhead, I can be a good Christian.

–A train

Posted on September 28, 2006
Christianity, Hard Drugs, Hobos, On the Subway

Leno Fans Can Be a Little Creepy

Teen tourist girl #1: The Late Show! The Late Show!
Teen tourist girl #2: We have to go see that! I can’t believe The Late Show is here!
Hobo: That show is bad. Very, very bad. It will take you to hell. Repent for your sins now!
Teen tourist girl #1: Run!

–Union Square Station

Posted on September 23, 2006
Hobos, Religion, Teens, TV, Union Square and East Village

Let Sleeping Hoboes Lie

Girlfriend: Oh, look, that homeless person is sleeping. We should wake him up.
Boyfriend: Why would you wake him up?
Girlfriend: Well, like, what if he misses his stop?

–Brooklyn bound L train

Overheard by: Chris

Posted on September 11, 2006
Etiquette, Hobos, On the Subway

Fired From His Job as a Hostage Negotiator, Stanley Fell On Hard Times

Hobo: Hey, lady, give a dollar.
Lady: No!
Hobo: Give me a quarter.
Lady: No!
Hobo: Give me a dime.
Lady: No!
Hobo: Give me a cent.
Lady: No!
Hobo: Okay, so at least give me a hug.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: gus_no_fear

Posted on September 9, 2006
Hobos, Homeless, Penn Station

Hobos

New York Agrees: Wednesday One-Liners Are the People’s Choice

Wednesday One-Liners Are on Red Alert

I’m Just High on God, Officer

Leno Fans Can Be a Little Creepy

Let Sleeping Hoboes Lie

Fired From His Job as a Hostage Negotiator, Stanley Fell On Hard Times

He Used to Be a Pro, But Now He Just Freelances

How You Can Tell If Bums Are Just Very Dirty Hipsters

Just Let Me Wipe Off My Watch Face…

They Allow Me to Forget My Children