Dude: There are about 20 mice running around the glassed-in area over there.
Store guy: Oh yeah. We know. Every Starbucks has mice.
Store chick: They’re cute!
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: The Tep
Store guy: Welcome to K-mart! Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas!
Woman: Yeah, whatever. Um, where do you have the rat poison?
–K-mart, East 8th Street
Overheard by: Aerialist
Businessman: Yeah, I had to fire like 8 people one Christmas eve.
Businesslady: Oh! Ha, ha, ha, ha.
–Liberty & Nassau
Overheard by: Erika
Girl: Santa Claus is from Finland, you know.
Guy #1: Oh yeah?
Girl: Yeah, he’s not from the North Pole like you think he is…I know him, I can ask him about you.
Guy #1: Oh yeah? Well, have I been naughty all these years?
Girl: I don’t know, I’d have to go back and ask him.
Guy #1: Yeah, find out why I haven’t been getting presents all these years.
Guy #2: He’s Jewish.
Woman: Are you from Finland, then?
Girl: Yes.
Woman: Are you Santa Claus’ granddaughter, then?
Girl: Oh yeah, and we’re from the same town in Finland…and he’s not fake, he’s real!
–L train
Overheard by: Kaitie
Checkout lady: School supplies? You gotta buy this in September, not December!
Chick: I know, but my little cousins want school supplies for Christmas, they wanna play teacher. I’m just following orders.
Checkout lady: Christmas?
Chick: Yeah, Christmas, it’s a gift.
Checkout lady: What about Hanukkah?
Chick: What about it?
Checkout lady: You ever heard of it?
Chick: Yeah, but these are a Christmas gift.
Checkout lady: You Jewish? Which half?
Chick: Only the good half.
Checkout lady: You a teacher?
Chick: No, a librarian.
Checkout lady: You look too young to have finished college. How old are you? Twenty?
Chick: No, I finished college.
Checkout lady: You eighteen?
Chick: No, I’m twenty-three.
Checkout lady: Oh. You gotta get married, then.
–K-Mart, Staten Island
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Tween girl #1: Gina, you know you look a lot taller when you run.
Tween girl #2: That’s because she’s up in the air more, dummy.
–Battery Park
Suit: Thanksgiving is on a Friday, right?
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Andrew Richter
Suit on cell: Yo Chucky, what’re you doing for the holiday?…You’re
frying it?…Like, deep frying? Yes, that’s weird…I think it’ll taste funny…I hope you remember to pluck all the feathers.
–Madison Square Park
