Man wearing cargo pants, on day before Easter: So what's this foolishness about you guys being closed tomorrow?
YMCA staff member: Apparently, we're celebrating Easter.
Man wearing cargo pants: But you guys are pagan!
Naperville, Illinois
Overheard by: Lauren
Guy going on holidays to friend: If the opportunity presents itself, could you please not fuck my girlfriend?
Vancouver
Canadia
Traveler with heavy European accent: So, can we drive to the Grand Canyon one day? We'd really like to see it while in America.
Dulles Airport
Washington, DC
Blonde on cell: We got a nice hotel room for our cat.
Montgomery and California
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy: So Jeff's cousin came out.
Girl: I knew he was gay! He's like, the only guy I didn't make out with on New Year's.
Guy: You totally made out with him!
Girl: Yeah, but he wasn't into it.
Ramat Aviv
Israel
Waitress: Are you going to celebrate Thanksgiving tonight?
Woman with thick Canadian accent: Oh, no, we're going to go home and worship Satan, if that's okay with you.
Cracker Barrel
Orlando, Florida
Girl #1: Every time I watch Rudolph, it gives me stress.
Girl #2: That show is horrible!
Girl #1: See, those little reindeer, they didn’t know any better, but Dancer was a grown-ass reindeer! He knew better than to treat Rudolph like that, tellin’ his own kid not to play with Rudolph… That’s some straight-up bullshit.
Guy: And why was Rudolph’s nose red if both of his parents’ noses were black?
Girl #2: ‘Cause his mom was a ho.
Girl #1: Y’know, Dancer was probably his mom’s punk-ass baby-daddy. And you know what? Even Santa didn’t know how to act. If I was Rudolph, I would tell Santa, ‘Oh, hell no!’
Girl #2: Oh, hell no!
Girl #1: ‘Santa better get his fat ass up there and guide his own shit, after he be treatin’ me like that! Oh, hell no!’
http://www.overheardinpittsburgh.com/
Office grunt: Valentine’s Day lunch is for people who are having affairs. I’ve worked every Valentine’s Day. The nights are all couples, but the days are all people who say they’re coworkers but then grab each other’s legs under the table.
http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/02/special-valentines-message-from-savvy.html
Overheard by: mk
Girl, about guy in Jason Vorhees mask coming on stage during Halloween skit: I always recognize James* by his thighs.
St. Peter's College
New Jersey
