Holidays

Old woman on bus: I have a skirt like that.
Young professional woman: Really?
Old woman: I can't wear it. I can't wear skirts that short. I'm too old.
Young professional: Oh.
Old woman: But it cost a lot, so I wore it as a halloween costume.
Young professional: Really.
Old woman: Everyone thought I was a hooker.

Portland, Oregon

Bimbette: I don’t know what his problem is. Columbus Day? Like, whatever, it’s a day off. I would celebrate Saddam Hussein Day if I got a day off.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/sundays-suck.html

Overheard by: sitt

Man: I remember how one Halloween we ran out of candy and had to start giving the kids tea bags.

Mafiaoza’s
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: John Chapin

30-something Catholic to girlfriend: I think I'm giving up masturbation for lent. (long pause) I think I might just give up masturbation.

Norman, Oklahoma

Man: What do you want for Christmas?
Chubby boy: Meatloaf.

Brownstone Diner
Jersey City, New Jersey

Wife: Are you sure your office isn't closed for Columbus Day?
Husband: No, we could opt to take it off rather than the Friday after Thanksgiving.
Wife: Oh, that would be dumb.
Husband: Yeah. Besides, I think Columbus was kind of an a-hole.

Nashville, Tennessee

Beggar #1: Spare change?
Beggar #2: Hey, I haven't seen you in a while.
Beggar #1: I just got back from California.

Boston, Massachusetts

Hispanic girlfriend: Why the hell do you get Cesar Chavez Day off of work? Do you even know who Cesar Chavez is?
White boyfriend: Didn't he drive the snakes out of Mexico?

Orange County, California

Overheard by: Hispanic girlfriend

Lady #1: My husband and I are going to Vegas tomorrow for four days. Our only trip without the kids. I am ticked because today I got my period.
Lady #2: Oh, what a pain in the ass.
Lady #1: Ahhhh?!

Hamburg, Michigan

Drunk man to another: If I had a nose like fluorine I wouldn't be wishing anyone a merry Christmas.

Bar
Edinburgh
Scotland

Overheard by: Jesse Green