High school girl: Um, excuse me, Frenchie? Can I get a picture with you?
Frenchie Davis: I’m sorry, I simply don’t have time for this tonight. [Starts to walk away]High school girl: Please? It’s my birthday.
Frenchie, over her shoulder: Sweetheart, it’s always someone’s birthday. You are going to have to do better than that.
–Outside the Nederlander Theatre, W 41st St
Overheard by: AJ
Scottish guy #1: No, I don’t like her. Should I break up with her?
Scottish guy #2: Yes, definitely!
Scottish guy #1: Nah, I think I’ll rent a stretch limo, take her to see Mamma Mia in Glasgow for Valentine’s and rent a hotel room and then break up with her.
Scottish guy #2: What?
Scottish guy #1: What, is that bad?
–Planet Hollywood, Times Square
Overheard by: Cherie
Old Hispanic man: Happy Birthday!
Little Hispanic girl: It’s not my birthday!
Old Hispanic man: Yes it is! Now that we live here, today is everybody’s birthday!
Little Hispanic girl: No.
Old Hispanic man: Sí! Happy Birthday!
White girl, passing by: Oh, for Christ’s sake. Why can’t they go back where they came from?
–105th & Madison
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Black lady with five kids: You can’t get anything here. We gots to get to Old Navy to buy us all our Fourth of July t-shirts so we match at the picnic.
Black guy: They have the best deal. Shirts are five dollars each, that’s like [counts kids, self, and wife] less than twenty bucks for all of us, and even the baby shit has a flag on it.
–Target, Atlantic Terminal, Brooklyn
Overheard by: lora
Conductor: To all the men on the train, Happy Father’s Day. And to all the ladies on the train who wear two hats, Happy Father’s Day to you, too.
–1 train
Overheard by: Eli Feldblum
Store girl: Here’s your receipt and have a happy holiday!
Store guy: The holidays are over.
Store girl: Valentine’s Day is coming up.
–Mazzone True Value Hardware, Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Rob
Thug guy: Yo, happy New Year’s, man.
Janitor guy: New Year’s is over, yo.
Thug guy: Happy Mother’s Day!
–Port Authority
MC guy: So…you’ve probably been out hitting the New Year’s sales…What’s the next holiday to get its own sale? Martin Luther King, Jr. Day? I wonder how they’ll promote that sale.
Audience guy: …Free at last!
–Sidewalk Cafe, Avenue A
Hobo: Hi. My name’s Lloyd. Most of you all know me by now. Yes, I’m still coaching basketball. I just wanted to say, have a happy holiday, and if you don’t have change–
Man: It’s happy Christmas, not happy holiday.
Hobo: You should know that some people don’t celebrate Christmas.
Man: Fuck ’em.
–N train
Woman: We were playing Christmas music last night. If you listen to the words, a lot of those songs really mean something.
–Rockefeller Center
Yuppie girl #1: God, this train is so crowded.
Yuppie girl #2: I hate it when the train is packed like this.
Yuppie girl #1: I just want to shove people, but there’s nowhere to shove them to, it’s so crowded.
Guy: Whoa, peace on earth, goodwill toward men, everyone just settle down.
–1 train
Old lady #1: Even when they say “happy holidays” to me, I say “merry Christmas” back.
Old lady #2: Good for you.
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Kenneth Grider
Woman: So when is Christmas this year?
Man: Um. I think it’s on Sunday this year.
Woman: No, I mean what date is it?
–Clinton Hill
Overheard by: Megan Winget
