I Was Just Testing You

Girl #1: Doesn’t it turn you on when two guys kiss?
Girl #2: Um… No… Not really…
Girl #1: … Oh, yeah… Me neither…

–6 train

Posted on February 16, 2008
Girls, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, On the Subway, Sexuality

You Never Have a Penis!

LI girl #1: Want to make out?
LI girl #2, angrily: No! We’ve been down that road before, Meghan!

–LIRR

Overheard by: Climate Changer

Posted on January 19, 2008
Girls, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Trains Not Subway

I’m Already Getting More Elf Ass Than I Can Handle

Drunk 40-ish lady: You wanna slide down my chimney tonight?
Hipster in Santa suit: … No.
Drunk 40-ish lady: Kiss me.
Hipster in Santa suit: No… Ma’am.

–Bowery Ballroom

Posted on January 1, 2008
Drunks, Hipsters, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Lower East Side

He’s Still My Favorite Gym Teacher, Though.

Teen girl #1: You didn’t I know I went out with Hector?
Teen girl #2: Nah.
Teen girl #3: Hector went out with everyone. He kissed all the girls. We called him ‘The Rapist,’ or ‘R. Kelly.’

–Q88 bus

Overheard by: Me

Posted on October 6, 2007
Bimbettes, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Nicknames & name calling, On the Bus, Promiscuity, Stupidity, Teens

Oh, Wait, It’s Just the Clintons

Little girl: Mom! Mom! I’m so scared! I just saw the scariest thing!
Mother: What is it? What’s wrong?
Little girl: I saw two men kissing!

–Pizzeria Uno’s, Astoria

Posted on September 6, 2007
Astoria, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids

Technically, Walter Is Your Uncle

Five-year-old girl #1 on seesaw: Did you know that I have a boyfriend?
Five-year-old girl #2 on seesaw: No.
Five-year-old girl #1 on seesaw: Yes, I do. I have a boyfriend. He even kissed me on the lips, so he’s my boyfriend.

–Playground, Bleecker St

Posted on July 30, 2007
K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Relationships, West Village

Honesty Cures It

Drunk goth chick to couple making out: Public displays of affection cause cancer!
Man, taking a break: Really?
Drunk goth chick: No. Just jealousy.

–9th & 3rd

Posted on July 5, 2007
Cancer, Couples, Drunks, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners for Gene Simmons

Woman holding small dog: Kiss him. His mouth smells like poopie.

–9th St & Ave A

Drunk chick: I kissed Kaitlyn on the tongue, and now I have herpes in my mouth.

–Outside The Grand, 58th St

Conductor: To the individual outside kissing the train: Please stop.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Dan

Girl: But he didn’t even kiss me at the club! We didn’t kiss until the hospital, and it wasn’t even a real kiss. I kissed him and he didn’t kiss me back.

–Café, Union Square

Professor: Like I told you, kiss my white ass!

–NYU