Men

Man #1: I have a book coming out this year, so I’m looking forward to that.
Man #2: Oh, yeah? What’s it about?
Man #1: It’s an oral history of anal sex.
Man #2: [Silence.]Man #1: It was a lot of hard work, but it was a real labor of love.

–Locker room, McBurney YMCA, 14th St & 6th Ave

Headline by: Ryan

Runners-Up:

· “”Annals of Anal”” – Janet E.

· “But the Title is a Mouthful” – Meredith

· “It’s called ‘Talking Out of Your Ass'” – Chris Polubinski

· “Love’s Labours Lubed” – CJC

· “Rim & Punishment” – Fru

· “The Mangina Monologues” – bowloftoast


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Girl to man who held door for her: Thank you.
Man: I love you.
Girl to friend: Nobody in New York has any respect anymore.

–Barnes & Noble, 82nd St

Overheard by: Elise C-K

Man #1: Dude, what do you do if that is your skill, your gift?
Man #2: What, being a poet?
Man #1: Yes, how do you make a living at it?
Man #2: You don’t. Either that or you call up Maya Angelou and ask her, ‘What the fuck do I do?’

–39th & 8th

Overheard by: dan

Middle-aged man #1: I don’t know what happened to her. Man, I’ve never seen such a downfall. One minute she’s smokin’ hot, and now she’s all tired and saggy.
Middle-aged man #2: But you’d still do her.
Middle-aged man #1: Fuck yeah. It’d be a great story.

–V train

Man: I’m tellin’ you, a perm makes you look good.
Woman: Goddammit, Pee Wee! No it don’t! You think you know every mothafuckin’ thing!

–Fulton & Putnam, Brooklyn

Overheard by: mira p

Chick #1 grabbing a pole on crowded subway: Ew! This pole is wet!
Chick #2: Huh?
Male stranger: Yeah, I just finished licking it.

–N train

Overheard by: Pamela

Enormous black woman clutching frantic feral cat: Who’ll gimme a dollar fo’ this kitten? I know one of ya’lls got a dollar fo’ this kitten. You?! You?!
Confused passerby: Didn’t you get that from the vacant lot behind you?
Enormous black woman clutching frantic feral cat: Shut up, fool! Okay… Fitty cent, then!

–West 153rd St

Overheard by: goofopet

Woman: And you know what’s worse?
Man: What?
Woman: All the demons are male. Always. I mean, how unfair is that? It’s fucking retarded.

–B75 bus

50-something guy #1: That food was so good last night.
50-something guy #2: I think we were just drunk.
50-something guy #1: No, that was a great grilled cheese… Remember the Russian hooker with the whip?
50-something guy #2: Yeah… Here’s 14th Street.

–A train

Overheard by: Steph

Man: They’re the only animal that loves you!
Woman: Well, I don’t know about the only animal…
Man: Well, ravens. Ravens love you, too.

–Au Bon Pain, Port Authority

Overheard by: not minding my own business