Man: Oh, it is so good to hear English again.
Customs guy: Actually, I speak Brooklyn.
–JFK
Overheard by: Benjamin Silverberg
Man: Oh, it is so good to hear English again.
Customs guy: Actually, I speak Brooklyn.
–JFK
Overheard by: Benjamin Silverberg
Crazy lady: I hate my fucking mother and I want to kill her. I want to watch her bleed. She is a fat lazy bitch. She was nothing but a container!
Guy: God will not forgive you if you kill your mother. Can you also keep it down please?
–PATH train
Overheard by: JMK
Lady: Ooh, is that a tampon in your bag?
Man: No, no, no. Come on, it’s a manpon.
–Tonic, Norfolk Street
Overheard by: Sarah
Fat White drunk woman: Maybe you got it from someone in our building, or all those transvestites you fucked.
Sobbing Hispanic man: But baby, I didn’t fuck that many, it’s not my fault!
–Fordham Road, The Bronx
Petition guy: Hi, are you a registered Democrat?
Dude: No, sex offender.
–20th & 1st
Hobo: Excuse me, sir? You dropped some change.
Man: What? Where?
Hobo: Bam! In my cup!
–7th Avenue & 4th Street
Woman: You don’t get any overage? That’s ridiculous. You got to switch to Cingular.
Man: But I hear the service isn’t so good.
Woman: Yeah that’s true, the service sucks. But at least you get overage.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Man #1: He’s put on some weight. I don’t remember him being that fat in The Last Five Years.
Man #2: Well, having two kids’ll do that to you.
–Imperial Theatre, West 45th Street
Man #1: So what are you going to do this weekend?
Man #2: I thought we could go to my farm and you could ride my tractor.
Man #1: Oh yeah, that sounds great.
–Midtown elevator
Overheard by: Max Seddon
Girl: Stop staring, pervert.
Guy: You ain’t all that hot.
Girl: I am not a hamburger! You can’t eat me!
–3 train
Overheard by: Jose
