Old matronly black woman: Wanna go to a hotel? I feel like fucking…Let’s go!
Young Pakistani waiter: Get out of here, you crazy old bat!
Old matronly black woman: I still got it in me to fuck!
–Coffee Shop, Bronx
Overheard by: soulgrrl
Old matronly black woman: Wanna go to a hotel? I feel like fucking…Let’s go!
Young Pakistani waiter: Get out of here, you crazy old bat!
Old matronly black woman: I still got it in me to fuck!
–Coffee Shop, Bronx
Overheard by: soulgrrl
Shiksa #1: So he goes, "Things changed, I moved to the city." What the fuck kind of bullshit excuse is that?
Shiksa #2: Oh he moved to the city? Whoa….the city Jew is a whole different breed of Jew.
–51st & 2nd
Overheard by: In agreement
Girl: I just heard a Britney Spears cover. It was odd.
Guy: I like her cover of… I think it was a James Brown song.
Girl: "My Prerogative"?… oh, no, that’s Bobby Brown.
Guy: It was some brown person.
–57th & 8th
Girl: You really don’t realize how many Indian kids there are at NYU until you have really shitty sex with one of them and have to try to avoid him.
–Broadway & Waverly
Overheard by: Jake
Indian guy, to white guy: Do you see the color of my skin? I’m obviously more intelligent than you.
–Makers
Very white girl: It was so diverse and, like, I don’t know, I felt like a minority.
—Union Square
Guy: I don’t discriminate based on race, but you in particular are a suspicious-looking motherfucker.
–Red Sky Lounge, 29th & Park
Guy on cell: You fucking idiot. You don’t have jaundice. You’re Asian.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: another asian
Frenchman: Hurry! That chocolate man is taking your parking space!
–Christopher St
Overheard by: Melissa Coppola
Black guy, to white infant: Hey! Hey! Awww, shit. You anotha’ one of dose fucking crackers! Cracker-ass crackers fucking everywhere.
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: The Cracker’s Mama
Girl with violin case: I asked Weijing and she said it was OK.
Hag with eye tick: She must not have understood you. She’s not blond, you know. She’s Chinese.
Girl with violin case: Um, I’m pretty sure she understood me.
–Juilliard
Father: Look at that sign. What do you think mela means?
Son: I don’t know.
Father: Look at the picture.
Son: Oh, apple! So it’s, like, an Applebee’s?
–Little Italy
Guy: Why the fuck are you dating Jimmy?
Girl: ‘Cause he’s sweet and nice, unlike you.
Guy: But he’s Chinese.
Girl: So? Are you racist or something?
Guy: Nah… but Chinese dudes got some small-ass hamster dicks. I know he ain’t hittin’ that right.
–F train
Overheard by: Tupac
Woman: Foreigners are killing this city.
Man: Those people seemed like Americans.
Woman: But they’re foreign to New York.
–MoMA
Tourist #1: Can you take our picture?
Young man: Sure.
Tourists put on “Chinese” hats and make their eyes slanty by pulling at the corners.
Tourists: Ching, chow, chey, high-ya!
Young man: I’m not sure you should do that.
Tourist #1: Do you think they know we’re making fun of them?
Young man: Nooo…I bet they think it’s just what crazy Europeans do when taking pictures.
Young man hands back camera and walks away quickly.
Young man to friend: That was so offensive I think it was funny.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: chapster
Hispanic woman: I love you Chinese people. You don’t gain weight like us Americans. It must be some secret Chinese roots you eat.
Young Asian girl: [Stares quizzically]Hispanic woman: You people even have all fried food and the sauce, but you stay so skinny. I love Chinese food, but it make me fat. Why it doesn’t make you people fat? It is a Chinese secret; tell me it.
Young Asian girl: I’m actually of Japanese descent, and my family has lived in Jersey since the 1920’s.
Hispanic woman: But you still skinny.
–7 train, 5th Ave/Bryant Park
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
