Multiculturalism, Overheard Style

Wednesday One-Liners Get Outsourced

Guy: This is like waiting in a breadline in Russia.

–Long line to get into Magnolia Bakery

Overheard by: Amy

Guy on cell: I got sexually molested by a teenager in Turkey!

–11th St & 2nd Ave

Chick: Huh. Lot of Egypt.

–Egyptian art wing, the Met

Overheard by: Rhian

Girl having to throw away beer: That’s so sad — think of all the sober children in Ethiopia.

–Brooklyn Brewery

Overheard by: Eelco

Girl to boyfriend: What did you do today? Oprah probably fed a small country.

–13th St & 2nd Ave

Lady giving friend reindeer hat: Isn’t it great? I’m sure some Pakistani kid went blind making it, but y’know…

–Fancy restaurant, West Village

Overheard by: lbw

Black kid pointing at shirt: This shit is gangsta! It’s from Japan!

–The Gap, Times Square

And the Feeling That Whatever Happened Here Is Over

Dad: … And how do you know when we’re in the Village, sweetie?
Tween girl: Hipsters?
Dad: Uh, no, I was talking about that sign [points to ‘Welcome to Greenwich’ sign].
Tween girl: Oh.

–Bleecker & MacDougal

But the Venus de Milo’s Pretty Hot, If You’re into Amputees

Guy #1: I try to stay away from Italian women.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Because they are hairy.

–Broadway & 50th

Overheard by: Keithrez

Wednesday One-Liners Still Celebrate Columbus Day

Jersey lady pointing at a French bulldog: Look at this face! He’s adorable! He looks Italian!

–26th & 7th

Overheard by: sara n.

College chick: You were born in Italy? That’s awesome… Speak some Italy for me. Wait, that’s what you speak, right?

–Classroom

Drunk yelling at a pizza shop: Who the fuck are you? You’re fucking Mexican! You’re not Italian! I’m Italian!! I make the fucking pizzas in this town!

–Bedford and N 7th St

Overheard by: Actually I’m from Equador

Guy: I feel like I’m at a dry-cleaning convention that is being shaken down by the mob.

–Korean-Italian wedding

Overheard by: Retarded Quarterback

Old lady with a cane: My father is Jewish and my mother is Italian, and I am in therapy.

–Lower Manhattan

Well, I Was Just Saying, ‘I Wish’!

Drunk girl #1: I wish Colette* would speak French to us.
Drunk girl #2: That would be, like, so awesome!
Drunk girl #3: Colette doesn’t speak French! Doesn’t she speak, like, Puerto Rican?

–Fordham University Ram Van

Overheard by: Ali McE

He’s Talking about His Generation

Man in Who shirt: Whoa! I didn’t see that shirt! That’s a cool one!
Man with French accent: Oh, yeah, I got this one at the show in France.
Man in Who shirt: Were they screaming as loud as we were tonight?
Man with French accent: No, we put our hands over our heads and snap our fingers and say ‘Ooh-la-la.’
His wife: What’d you have to do that for? You don’t have to fuck around with everyone on the street!
Man with French accent, now speaking in Brooklyn accent: What’s the fun of wearing a fake, five-dollar Chinatown Who shirt if I’m not gonna make fun of those assholes in the process?

–Pizza shop outside MSG after the Who show

I Can’t Make Hotel Reservations, But I Can Score Like a Native

Chick #1: When I was in school I failed Spanish, even though I am Puerto Rican.
Chick #2: My husband taught me Spanish. He was Italian but learned it from selling drugs with the Dominicans.

–B61 bus

Overheard by: Pepe

Hotter than Hot

Girl #1: So, was he at least hot?
Girl #2: No! He was Chinese!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Andrea

Wednesday One-Liners Hate Everybody Equally

Girl on cell: I’m in this ethnography class. And I thought it would be, like, really easy, but there’s all this vocab — they use language in this different way that I’m not used to. So I said something, and this girl repeated it and made me look really bad. Well, we were talking about race, you know? And I just said that every race has their specialties, right? But now everyone in the class thinks I’m racist… Who knows?!

–Washington Square

Gilchrist, founder of the Minutemen, moments before students stormed the stage: What did you say? I don’t speak Mexican.

–Columbia University

Bouncer talking to people in front of Webster Hall: First, I have been nothing but a gentleman in talking to you. Your racial bullshit is not needed here. Second, I am a spic, not a nigger. If you’re gonna insult me, get it right.

–11th St between 3rd & 4th Ave

Overheard by: AJ

Black crackhead: Spare some change, Miss? I’ve been asking the niggers, but they don’t give me shit.

–Broadway & 11th St

Overheard by: Miss I Am Not a Nigger

Model wannabe: You should forget about him, he’s just a racist spic.

–Steinway & Broadway, Astoria

Overheard by: Crash

Black girl: That was the most racist, sexist movie I have ever seen, and I loved it!

–Kaufman Theaters, Astoria

Overheard by: A White Guy

I’m Proud to Be a Wednesday One-Liner

Homeless guy: I got a sore on my left foot! Look at it! That’s what comes from being in America!

–Beth Israel Emergency Room, 18th & 1st

Doorman: So I looked her straight in the face and I said, ‘Listen, you’re in America now.’

–Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Columbus Circle

Yasser Arafat look-alike: If she’s naked, don’t go in there; I know how these goddamn American girls are.

–Bedford St & W 4th

Overheard by: Birthday Boy

Woman in exaggerated Latin accent: Run, run, American people! Run before you miss the train!

–Uptown 6 train, Wall St station

Overheard by: gay among hardhats

Guy: It’s an old American name, like in the Bible.

–A train arriving at 59th St

Overheard by: IanM

Park Avenue woman, upset because cashier didn’t have quarters: I have every right to be nasty! I’m an American! I’m a fucking New Yorker!

–23rd & Park

Spanish hipster tourist: Americans are the worst!

–Apple store, 5th Ave

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist