Tween girl: Why isn’t she smiling?
Mom: Honey, the French gave her to us. Smiling is an American thing.
Dad: Listen to your mother, she knows a lot.
–Circle Line
Tween girl: Why isn’t she smiling?
Mom: Honey, the French gave her to us. Smiling is an American thing.
Dad: Listen to your mother, she knows a lot.
–Circle Line
Pizza guy: You can’t get a slice, man. Your money is fake
Dude: My money is real. I get it at the bank. Straight from the white man.
–Broadway Pizza, 27th & Broadway
HS girl #1: I saw on TV last night they were saying how you can bring people back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Uh, how dead?
HS girl #1: Like Hitler…
HS girl #3: That’s crazy. I read the Bible. You can not bring people back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Fool, they brought Jesus back from the dead.
–Health Opportunities High School, South Bronx
Bag lady: Could someone spare some change? My welfare was denied.
Crazy lady: Yeah, yeah, they denied mine the first time too. Get over it.
Man: Does anyone know how to get to–
Crazy lady: They aren’t listening, they aren’t going to talk to you. They can’t talk. They are all mute.
–F train
Tourist lady #1: Is this it?
Tourist lady #2: I think this is it.
Tourist lady #1: You’d think they’d have signs or something.
Tourist lady #2: Yeah, this must be it, though.
–Times Square
Fratboy: This one is awesome. Chicks love it….or, um, dudes, if you’re into that kind of thing.
Suit: I am, thank you.
Fratboy: Awesome. Good save, huh?
Suit: Yeah. Thanks for the recommendation.
Fratboy: Anytime.
–Vintage New York, 93rd & Broadway
Hobo #1: What flavors you got?
Clerk guy: We have regular, orange, raspberry, and vanilla.
Hobo #1: We’ll take vanilla.
Hobo #2: Vanilla? What are you, gay?
–Nizga Liquors, Avenue A
Overheard by: A. Sterling
Store girl: Here’s your receipt and have a happy holiday!
Store guy: The holidays are over.
Store girl: Valentine’s Day is coming up.
–Mazzone True Value Hardware, Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Rob
Thug guy: Yo, happy New Year’s, man.
Janitor guy: New Year’s is over, yo.
Thug guy: Happy Mother’s Day!
–Port Authority
God Squad man: Jesus saves! Books $1 only.
Guy: Fuck Jesus.
God Squad man: Fuck your mother…and your father. Jesus saves people. Books, $1.
–34th Street B/D/F/V/N/Q/R/W station
Overheard by: j-mo
Guy #1: We goin’ uptown or downtown?
Guy #2: Nigga, we goin’ sideways.
–L train
Girl: I went to Boston this weekend. Mostly just to avoid the L train.
–Williamsburg
Guy: I can’t believe I was cockblocked by the L train.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Chelsea Miller
