Conductor: Due to a problem at 14th St-Union Square, this train will be going express to Brooklyn Bridge. This train will not stop at any local stops. The next stop will be Brooklyn Bridge. Switch to an uptown 6 train for all local stops. The next stop will be Brooklyn Bridge. The next stop will be Brooklyn Bridge. Brooklyn Bridge is next.
Man: What was the next stop?
–Downtown 6 train
Overheard by: Petey Mills
Voice on loudspeaker: Ladies and gentlemen, someone has lost a pair of ladies’ red-rimmed eyeglasses. That’s a pair of women’s glasses with red frames, looking for you. Get it? Cause they’re glasses, looking for…Oh, nevermind.
–Queens County Farm Museum
Overheard by: amused visitor
Girl: I only like white wine in Paris
–Union Pool
Overheard by: Andrea
Hobo: I am a Vietnam veteran. I cannot work due to the effects of Agent Orange. Agent Orange was used in Vietnam to kill all the vegetarians.
–Uptown R train
Cop: So what does the red light mean, dat you gotta come to a complete stop?
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: Goueznou
Student to tourists: No, no. The black-draped building is Silver. The white building is Brown. See?
–Broadway & Mercer
Overheard by: booksandlibretti
Coast guard officer: Oh darn, I should have worn my pink coast guard hat today.
–South Street Seaport, Avon Breast Cancer Walk
Tourist: Is that train going to 18th street?
New Yorker: Yes.
Doors close.
New Yorker: But you’re not.
–Union Square Station, 4/5/6 platform
Overheard by: amused MD
Conductor: Next stop, 110th. This one goes to Van Cortlandt.
Tourette’s man: I know, you fuck! Stop yelling at me!
–1 train
Girl #1: And then there was the stabbing.
Guy: Whaaa?
Girl #1: She stabbed a cab driver.
Girl #2: Well, he started it!
–Cafe Mogador, St. Marks Place
Overheard by: Eric
Man boarding bus to driver: You better not go flippin’ this bitch over!
–Fung Wah Bus, Chinatown
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Young mom: No! I will sit down! You’re a kid, you don’t even have to pay to ride the bus. I did, so I’m sitting! Move!
–M60 Bus
Bus driver: Everyone get on the bus, I got a schedule. For those of you sneaking on in the back, can you at least do it fast? I’ve got places to be.
–B45 Bus
Overheard by: Robin M.
Driver of a Chinatown bus : Does anyone know how to get out of the city?
–Broadway
Little boy: Do you play basketball?
Black man: Yes I do.
Little boy: Do you play for the Knicks?
Boy’s mom: Yes, professional basketball players spend their time off doing sudoku puzzles on the subway. Let’s go.
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: Allisa
Jappy Teenage daughter: Daddeeee! I want you to get rid of sweat.
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: Lord…
Black woman on cell: I don’t like big, Black, aggressive men. I like light-skinned men, cause I’m Jamaican. I just found out I’m Jamaican like five years ago. My mom told me the guy who I thought was my father is not my real father. But you know, I don’t hold nothing against him. Dude paid child support and shit.
–Queens bound 7 Train
Hoochie with baby: As soon as he came outta me and I saw what color he was, oh no, I knew who his daddy was. But I love the shit outta my son.
–R Train
Little girl: When I don’t want to listen to my dad I just say ‘Talk to the hand!’
–Wooster St & Spring St
Little kid in stroller: Dad, is this us?
–Inside subway car on NYC subway IRT line at 34 thst stop
Overheard by: Steve Grant
Goth chick: That guy missed his train.
Goth dude: Yeah.
Goth chick: Life sucks.
Goth dude: Word.
Goth chick: Wanna go to McDonalds?
–F train
Overheard by: Mike N
Conductor #1: Conductor, is the Clean Train Campaign in effect for this train?
Conductor #2: AAARRRGGGHHH!
–LIRR
