A woman is arguing with the man in the token booth, but he’s speaking through the mic and his voice is muffled.
Woman: Huh? What? What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, all right. Shut the fuck up, Burger King.
–Sutter Avenue station
Overheard by: Deshaunicus
Guy: Here you go man. Here’s some fries.
Hobo: Fries? Fries with what?
–88th & Madison
Overheard by: Benjamin K.
Tourist mom: Well, the sticker there next to the door says this is the 2029 train, find that on the map–
NY guy: This is the R train, and that is a bus map.
–R train
Overheard by: Angelo Colucci
Tourist woman: So what do you call this?
Tourist guy: The subway.
Tourist woman: Oh.
–1 train
Overheard by: B. Howard
Tourist mom: So we just wait and the trains come right here?
–1/2/3 34th Street station
Overheard by: Adele
A tourist couple gets on at Times Square. It stops at 72nd next.
Tourist girl: Is this our stop?
Tourist guy: No, they said to take it two stops, we’ve only gone one.
The train continues on to stop at 96th.
Tourist girl: Wait, is this near the stop for Grand Central Station?
–2 train
The train car had no air conditioning so the door between cars was kept open to let in a breeze. A lady steps on the train, stands near the opened door, and then closes it.
Seated lady: We need the air!
Standing lady: It’s not safe.
Seated lady: It’s too hot in here. We kept it open to get some air.
Standing lady: But it’s not safe. I could get sucked out the door.
–2 train
Overheard by: Ebonita
Suit: Attention tourists. It is now just after 5PM, and unlike you, some of us had to work today and would like to fucking get home. Please keep moving and do not just fucking stop in the middle of the sidewalk. This has been a public service announcement.
–43rd & 7th
Conductor: Next time, you lose your hands!
–N train
Overheard by: Gregorio
The train stops in the tunnel, and the conductor announces: Ladies and gentlemen! We are momentarily held between the stations. We will be moving shortly. Meanwhile, sit back, relax, and enjoy the scenery.
–A train
Driver: Welcome aboard the M86 crosstown bus. I apologize for the delay today; we will be moving momentarily. If you are carrying a grudge from school, or work, or home, please do not take it out on me. I promise you, we will be moving momentarily.
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Diane
Conductor: Get all your possessions, including your body, inside the doors, if you want the train to move. It’s that simple.
–S train
Conductor: That was a very dangerous thing that you just did with the cane.
–F train
Tourist guy: We’re staying down on Two Avenue. Now do they say Two Avenue or Second Avenue here?
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Chess
Tourist woman: We’re in Manhattan, right?
–Times Square
Tourist girl: Can’t we like, just call a cab? You know, like, “Hi, we need a cab, pick us up here?”
–42nd between Broadway & 6th
Overheard by: Heather Hunter
Tourist guy: Do they just breed dogs smaller here, or what?
–Broadway & Astor
Overheard by: jillypickle
Man #1: Are you in line for the bus?
Man #2: The bus? No, I’m in line for the bathroom.
Man #1: Well, I’m waiting for the bus.
–Starbucks, 43rd & 3rd
Overheard by: Michelle
Lady: I don’t like to parallel park…it messes up my hair.
–61st & Madison
Guy: Seriously, you are being ridiculous. You need to calm the fuck down. You still have 2 more stops and what are your expectations with that outfit? Let me off.
–L train
Man on cell: I served lemonade for 6 hours! It wasn’t fucking bartending! It sucked!
–61st & 3rd
Chinese chick: Oh, I don’t watch baseball. I just recently found out what a home run is. I used to think they would, like, run home, and I was like, what the fuck is the point of that?
–B6 bus
Man on cell: Are you a fucking retard or do you just play one in real life?
–Penn Station
Girl: I don’t know why I pay for the internet. The only sites I ever use are Friendster, Craigslist and Overheard In New York and I’ll be honest, sometimes they just don’t do it for me.
–2 train
Punk chick: …hate it when my dirt washes off. It keeps me warm.
–St. Mark’s between 1st & A
Chick: You’re not the one who had to teach a fucking dance class from 9 to 5. I had to teach dance from 9 to 5. And I have to do it again tomorrow. I don’t wanna fucking dance anymore. I have tendonitis!
–12th & 3rd
Overheard by: Domi & Rachel
Loudspeaker: Spirit Airlines is paging Islam Mohammed. Islam Mohammed, please report to gate B6 for an ontime departure.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Joe Helfrich
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, in a crowded car like this, remember you only have two hands. If you notice a third hand in your purse or your pocket, I am sure your fellow passengers will help you get rid of the third hand.
–A train
Overheard by: Miss Babette
Bus driver: First, next and last stop!
–M104 bus
Overheard by: Palaverist
Loudspeaker: OK…The downtown E train is leaving…Close it up, close it up, close it up…downtown E train…close it up…now serving Wade, party of 2…Wade, party of 2.
–E. 51st Street station
Overheard by: Tim
Woman: Here’s something really funny. I was getting on the train, the 6, and the 2 friends I was supposed to meet were sitting there! Out of all the cars in the train. That was weird.
Man: I don’t believe in that, in coincidences.
Woman: You don’t?
Man: No, I believe that what happens is what was meant to happen.
Woman: Well, I hope “what is meant to happen” isn’t wasting its time
with me getting on the train.
–N train
Pedicab guy: It’s a great day for a ride in Central Park. Want a ride?
Man: How much to the Bronx?
–Columbus Circle
Hobo: Hello, ladies and gentlemen! How are you all today? My name is Sonny Payne–
Teen girl: And you’re just a Payne in the ass!
–F train
Overheard by: Nicole A.
Hobo: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen–
Woman: Ah God, I can’t take it this early.
–9 train
