Chick #1: Oh my god, Ben is so hot. He was flirting with me hardcore the other night.
Chick #2: Um… Ben’s queer.
Chick #1: Ben’s not queer! He’s just from Delaware.
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: courtney c
Chick #1: Oh my god, Ben is so hot. He was flirting with me hardcore the other night.
Chick #2: Um… Ben’s queer.
Chick #1: Ben’s not queer! He’s just from Delaware.
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: courtney c
Queer #1: I can’t believe he did that.
Queer #2: What? If you wanted me to pee on you, I would. That’s how much I love you.
–Greenwich Ave & Perry
Overheard by: John
Biotech: Does anybody want my college brochures? I got them today, but I’m not going to any of them, so does anybody want them?
Queer: Yeah, I want them.
Biotech: You can’t have them. They’re all about all-girl schools. You’re not a girl, so you can’t have them.
Queer: Come on! Let me have them!
Biotech: No! To go to this school you have to have a vagina, and unless you have a sex change in the next three months, you’re going to miss the deadline anyway!
Queer: Just let me have them!
Biotech: Oh yeah! I forgot! You do have a vagina!
Queer: Oh yeah? Well, you were born with a tail!
Biotech: A ponytail!
Queer: Only because your dad is a horse!
Biotech: I guess you’d know because your mom is always riding him!
Queer: Just let me see the college brochures.
–N 5th
Thug in Navigator: Hey! Where’s Brooklyn Bridge at from here?
Guy in car: Uhhh…
Queer in back seat: You’re asking three white guys in a Connecticut car? Fuck! You ain’t gonna make it.
–Flatbush Ave, off the BQE
Overheard by: TK, third guy from CT who didn’t know either
Queer #1: Ok, so read their body language and tell me if you think they are: 1) on a first date, but may go ahead and fuck tonight; 2) they are on maybe their third or fourth date, but have definitely had each other’s cock in their throats by now; or 3) they are full-on dating and fucking.
Queer #2: They’re on their first date. They’re way too into each other to already be dating.
Queer #1: Nice.
Both at the same time: Who do you think is the top?
Queer #2: Who do you think?
Queer #1: Well, just because white shirt is so hot, I’d want him to be the top. But, as you know, “Man of Steel, Heels of Helium.”
Queer #2: I know… Plus, the other one has to be the top. A bottom would never wear a plaid shirt.
–Nowhere Bar, E 14th Street
Overheard by: Gina Bruce
Queer #1: Get that cab.
Queer #2: We are not taking a cab three blocks.
Queer #1: It’s raining. The hair, the suede jacket.
Queer #3: I know you think we are lazy but it’s all about the hair. If you had any you would do the same.
Queer #2: I hate going out with you two.
Queer #1: You love us.
–In front of XL, Chelsea
Overheard by: Will
Guy #1: You should go back to sucking dick, that’s what you’re good at.
Guy #2: You would know… Damn it!
–Washington Place & Broadway
Overheard by: NewYorkerNick
French woman: You like men?
French man: Yes.
French woman: That means you are gay?
French man: Yes.
French woman: There must be a defect in your genes.
–7th Ave & 35th St
Punk: How long have you had them?
Queer with three Greyhounds: Oh different times. They all come from abusive breeders and abusive owners and we take them in.
Punk: They’re so beautiful. I’d totally abuse them.
–9th St, between 1St & A Ave
Queer #1: I totally wish I knew Madonna right now.
Queer #2: Why?
Queer #1: I would totally go over to her apartment right now and talk to her about these things.
Queer #2: Yeah, I know what you mean.
–West Village
Overheard by: Rachel Rockafella
