JAP #1: I hate how he calls himself "Bobby" just to seem more Jewish!
JAP #2: Yeah, why isn’t he comfortable being a Bob?
–Central Park
JAP #1: I hate how he calls himself "Bobby" just to seem more Jewish!
JAP #2: Yeah, why isn’t he comfortable being a Bob?
–Central Park
Girl: You really don’t realize how many Indian kids there are at NYU until you have really shitty sex with one of them and have to try to avoid him.
–Broadway & Waverly
Overheard by: Jake
Indian guy, to white guy: Do you see the color of my skin? I’m obviously more intelligent than you.
–Makers
Very white girl: It was so diverse and, like, I don’t know, I felt like a minority.
—Union Square
Guy: I don’t discriminate based on race, but you in particular are a suspicious-looking motherfucker.
–Red Sky Lounge, 29th & Park
Guy on cell: You fucking idiot. You don’t have jaundice. You’re Asian.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: another asian
Frenchman: Hurry! That chocolate man is taking your parking space!
–Christopher St
Overheard by: Melissa Coppola
Black guy, to white infant: Hey! Hey! Awww, shit. You anotha’ one of dose fucking crackers! Cracker-ass crackers fucking everywhere.
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: The Cracker’s Mama
Girl: Do you remember what you promised me before you left?
Guy: What? No.
Girl: You don’t remember what you promised me?
Guy: I promise you things all the time. I never remember any of them.
–Coffee house, East Village
Old woman inside apartment: You gotta come here and look at this!
Old man: Do I gotta put my pants on to come see it?
–80th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jo
Girl #1: I had to close my account.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I wasn’t creeping anyone out. Like, the other day some guy IMs me, and I tell him that I’m really into short guys, like five foot three and under, because I want to feel like I’m fooling around with a little boy.
Girl #2: What did he say?
Girl #1: He asked me if I wanted to meet up. Lavalife freak.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Alex
NYU girl #1, on cell: What? You got me something at Planned Parenthood?
NYU girl #2: I thought you hadn’t done it yet!
NYU girl #1, on cell: Oh, oh, a button with a wire hanger. With a cross through it.
NYU girl #2: Maybe he’s trying to tell you something.
–10th & 5th
Overheard by: notpoetry
Woman #1: I don’t know how I’m gonna get Bernie to go down on me. I’ve even tried waxing.
Woman #2: Maybe you can tattoo a little Yankees logo down there.
Woman #1: Are you kidding? It would be a holy object. He would kneel and make burnt offerings.
Woman #2: At least he would be kneeling. That’s a start.
–Williamsburg
Teen girl #1: I’m sorry, I’m just paranoid about getting home on time.
Teen girl #2: Pshaw. At least I’m paranoid about good things. I only make myself cry and throw up over boys.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lotte
Dude #1: Yeah, so it turns out I got pee in my hair for nothing.
Dude #2: Yeah. Huh.
–14th & 3rd
Guy on cell: I swear, I told you beforehand. I told you I was married.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Nicole and Caitlin
Five-year-old: Daddy, how come you ask all those women if they’re married?
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Caroline McGraw
Woman: I cannot wait ’til the wedding is over so I can go off this fucking diet!
–51st & 6th
Overheard by: jpnyc
Female suit: It’s a funeral, not a wedding, you baboon. Bring your own sandwich.
–59th & 10th
Overheard by: marie
