Ghetto teen: If Jesus was with you, he’d smack you over the head and call you a dick!
–A train
Overheard by: Josh Jasper
Girl to friends: Do either of you have a really nice picture of Jesus? I need to make an ashtray.
–7th & A
Overheard by: Ty!
Ghetto teen: If Jesus was with you, he’d smack you over the head and call you a dick!
–A train
Overheard by: Josh Jasper
Girl to friends: Do either of you have a really nice picture of Jesus? I need to make an ashtray.
–7th & A
Overheard by: Ty!
Orthodox woman, holding bag of almond meal: What do you mean it’s not kosher?
Grocer person: Well, if it doesn’t have a kosher symbol I would assume that means that it isn’t kosher.
Woman: Does it have a kosher symbol?
Grocer, politely: You have the bag in your hand, miss. Does it have a kosher symbol?
Woman: No it doesn’t. Why do you not carry kosher almond meal? I have been buying this for years and now you tell me it’s not kosher.
Grocer: I can only guess that the reason we don’t carry it is that then people like you would shop here.
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: matthew andrew pryatel
Girl #1: You think if I set up a gay couple I’ll go to hell?
Girl #2: Oh, totally.
–L train
Overheard by: ellll to the moee
Girl #1: So the entire time i’m watching this movie, I’m like, what is the Holy Grail? They never explain what it is. And I’m thinking it’s probably like, some kind of trophy or something…? Like maybe a fashion trophy…? Or something…?
Girl #2: Uh huh.
Girl #1: Yeah but no, it turns it out it actually has to do with like, Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene or something.
Girl #2: So it was like… Jesus’s trophy?
–H&M dressing room, 5th Ave
Guy: You have to accept the lord Jesus Christ into your soul! The Gospel says that if you don’t accept the lord, you will burn in hell! Hear my words and heed my warnings! The lord will take vengance upon your defiance!
Woman: Here’s a quarter! Shut the fuck up!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Rasta steel drum guy: This next song is about the comin’ of the Messiah.
Jewish woman: Yeah! We’re still waiting!
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Robin Christiansen
Teen girl: Hey, I’m a Scientologist.
Tom Cruise: Oh, really? What echelon are you in?
Teen girl: [awkwardly quiet] Uh… number three?
Tom Cruise: Exactly.
—Mission: Impossible III gala premiere, TriBeCa Film Festival, BMCC
Overheard by: mademoiselle schaeffer
Man: I’m getting my hair cut really short, I think.
Woman: I don’t think that will ever happen. You’re like Goliath with your hair.
Man: You mean Sampson.
Wonan: Who? Oh, is that who it is?
Man: Yeah, I’m not a giant.
–N train
Guy: [something in Spanish]… how do you say “altar boy”? You know, the ones whose little dicks the priest sucks?
–7th & Ave A
Overheard by: Jenny B
Woman #1: That’s why I don’t go to that church anymore, I don’t want to kick that bitch’s ass in God’s house.
Woman #2: Huh?
Woman #1: Fuck that, I don’t want to go to hell cuz a that bitch, I’d rather fuck her up outside.
–L train, Bedford Ave
Overheard by: HS
