Guy #1: Yeah, I was reading this Jehovah’s Witness pamphlet this morning, and apparently they believe that only 144,000 people will get into heaven. The rest don’t go to hell; they’re just unconscious.
Guy #2: That doesn’t sound so good. You gotta think, out of the 144,000 least sinful people on Earth, most of ’em are going to be ugly. I’d rather be unconscious with the hot chicks.
–Broad St
Overheard by: anotherKnight
Woman: This book I’m reading says that string theory could verify how the world began!
Guy: Hello! We know how the world began. I’ve got a book you should borrow; it’s called the Bible.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Jewish boy: If I wasn’t Jewish and saw Passion of the Christ, I’d walk out of the theaters screaming, “Let’s kill those Jews for killing our Lord and Savior!”
Black woman: Boy, you shouldn’t be goin’ ’round screaming that.
Jewish boy: Um, but I am Jewish.
Black woman: How am I ‘sposed to know that?
Jewish boy: By the fucking thing on my head and the fact that I keep checking for my wallet every second I’m talking to you.
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: David
Girl: It smells like blasphemy!
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: I only smelled mulch
Tattooed chick: It’s Christa. You remember, Christ with an A, because I’m so fucking godlike.
–8th & A
Overheard by: Meredith
Guy: She looks like the female version of Dave, which is a bit disconcerting to me…He looks like traditional representations of Jesus.
–Manhattan bound L train
Overheard by: Philip
Guy: Me and Jesus don’t get along.
–W 30th, between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Maggie
Femme on cell: So, like, our periods stopped at the same time for two hours so we could have sex and I was like, God loves me. Jesus was clearly gay.
–103rd & Broadway
Middle-Aged lady: Yeah, you can’t go switchin’ churches like that. That’s too many different spirits. You’ll be dealin’ with demons and stuff.
–F train
Overheard by: Yanni
College guy: No, really, dude. The guy’s a full-time, licensed exorcist!
–W 4th St A/C/E uptown platform
Overheard by: EJ
Muscular dude: I am devoted to crack but not to Christ! Please explain that to me. I’m a good crackhead, but I ain’t a good Christian!
–Downtown 1 train
Street vendor: NYU students, you gotta love them. They be going through hell and jumping out of windows and shit.
–Spring & Broadway
Woman: My name is Mrs. Williams*, and I am selling stuffed animals for the Happy Family organization. We believe in the sanctity of family and abstinence before marriage.
Queer: You’re talking to the wrong people.
Woman: Oh, you’re college students. I thought you were a Christian youth group or something.
–23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Brian R
Loud girl: I was like, “That’s totally unfair! You can’t pray that prayer! That’s the story of my life.”
–Outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Overheard by: Helen V.
20-Something #1: My roommate was this die-hard Christian.
20-Something #2: Born again?
20-Something #1: No, just regular.
20-Something #2: What’s the difference?
Pause.
20-Something #1: I don’t really know.
20-Something #2: My first roommate was, too. She liked this one lady, Joyce Meyers.
20-Something #1: I didn’t know that women could be priestesses in the Catholic religion.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: jtango
Med student #1: Some people say that The Passion of The Christ doesn’t follow the book.
Med student #2: What book?
–122nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Khalilah
Campaign worker: Are you a registered Democrat in New York?
Guy: I believe in God.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jenny Tobias
Older woman: Excuse me, miss?
Younger woman: Yeah?
Older woman: Your veil, your burqa is very beautiful. I didn’t know your people were allowed to wear it in bright colors.
Younger woman: It’s not a burqa, it’s a poncho. I’m Jewish. It’s for the rain. I got it at TJ Maxx.
–53rd & 7th
Overheard by: Pam
