Hobo to male passerby: Spare change? Anything helps — God bless.
Passerby: Get a job.
Hobo: Get on your knees and give me a job!
–72nd & Broadway
Hobo to male passerby: Spare change? Anything helps — God bless.
Passerby: Get a job.
Hobo: Get on your knees and give me a job!
–72nd & Broadway
Guy: Did you try rebooting?
Chick: Of course.
Guy: Because that’s the first thing you should try doing when you–
Chick: –Look, half the guys I’ve dated have been in tech support. I’ve picked up a hell of a lot more than just VD. I know about rebooting.
–NYU
Overheard by: ctrl alt delete
Hobo: I want to cum on your face.
Young woman: Uhhh… Well, at least he’s being up-front — putting all the cards on the table. I guess I respect that.
–27th & 10th
Overheard by: Julia C
Dude #1: So I was, like, having intercourse with my girlfriend’s mom, and my girlfriend came home and caught us.
Dude #2: That happened to me before.
–D train
Overheard by: Ed
Girl #1: I walked in on my boy masturbating while we where getting ready for sex.
Girl #2: Oh my god, I love masturbating before sex. It’s like a free orgasm.
Girl #1: Me, too. It’s, like, spiritual in my family.
–4th St & Park Ave
20-ish guy to pal: I didn’t go to the gym today, and I feel so liberated!
–W 25th & 10th
Overheard by: Gerry Visco
Stylish guy on cell: Well, yeah, I’m completely insane, but I’m in great, great, great shape!
–Christopher & 7th
Overheard by: robadob
Russian thug: Man, I don’t know how I’m going to have enough energy for the gym and sex tonight!
–Subway, near Brighton Beach
Overheard by: lk!
Guido pointing to his wifebeater: These things only last you so long. First time, you know, you wear it to the club, it’s still tight and shit. Second time you wear it around the house. Third time, that’s when you wear it to the gym. Then you throw it out! Wear a new one back to the club!
–NYC gym
Personal trainer lady: I was up in Greenwich training Mary Tyler Moore… Yeah, she’s old, but rockin’ bod.
–Metro-North train, 125th St
Overheard by: DrJones
Smoker guy: We should train for the marathon!
–50th & 6th
Drunk girl: I had sex with someone I didn’t know tonight.
Passing boy: Yeah, college!
Drunk girl: Don’t judge me!
–116th & Broadway
Drunk babe #1: I am definitely not going to have sex with him. He fucks a bitch from New Jersey.
Drunk babe #2: Oh, well, then maybe you shouldn’t have sex with him.
Drunk babe #1: I know, right? They have their own, like, breeds of STDs out in fucking Jersey.
–Outside Soho Grand Hotel
Overheard by: Drunk Guy
Chick to distraught girl in bathroom stall: Hey, yo, girl — I fucked the bouncer, so I could get you some water if you need it.
–Off the Wagon, MacDougal St
Headline by: Hellespont
Runners-Up:
· “I also fucked your boyfriend, maybe I could talk him into taking you back” – Rudeboy
· “If you need a sandwich i’m gonna need a condom” – Chris
· “Mother Teresa; The Early Years” – rose
· “Skanks Develop New Currency in Response to Global Warming” – ilemanzer
· “So That’s Why They Call it Tap Water” – Jeff St Real
Bimbette #1: I know you guys made out and had sex. You had a little crush.
Bimbette #2: Well, he was nice to me.
–12th & 4th
