Black bag lady: Oh, look, I like this samurai boy here…
Attractive Asian man, passing: Ah, thank you for getting the cultural reference right!
Black bag lady: You married?
Attractive Asian man, walking away: No, I'm gay!
–Long Island City
Black bag lady: Oh, look, I like this samurai boy here…
Attractive Asian man, passing: Ah, thank you for getting the cultural reference right!
Black bag lady: You married?
Attractive Asian man, walking away: No, I'm gay!
–Long Island City
Woman: She worked in a lesbian bar… She is not a lesbian.
Man: Well, she should be a lesbian.
Woman: Yes, exactly.
–87th & Lex
Woman: Karen’s gone. She resigned. She’s going to California to be with some boy.
Man: Wow, that’s scary.
Woman: Yeah. Especially since when I first met her she was a lesbian.
–Wagner College, Staten Island
Girl #1: Man, I ain’t know that that girl was gay.
Girl #2: Say what? All those times when we were laying together in the bed with no clothes on?! Man, that’s not happenin’ no more, lesbo!
–N train
Sulky waitress at family restaurant, complaining about management: I could be home right now having a threesome, but Chris won't let me leave.
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Inkling
35-year-old camp Asian man on cell: Yo, girl! (pause) Hell no, I have no idea what shit went down last night. (pause) Oh-em-gee! All I know is I woke up with five guys.
–R Train
Overheard by: Abby and Holly
20-something college boy: I mean, there's no "I" in "threesome."
–Union Square
Guy to his friends: Yeah, I haven't decided what guy I would tag-team a girl with yet.
–Hairy Monk, 25th & 3rd
African American guy to hipster girl: It was the worst orgy I've ever been to. Nothing but kids and clothes everywhere you looked.
–48th St & Broadway
Overheard by: RevLina, The Pain-Proof Girl
Non-puking girl (holding hair of other girl): Are you done yet?
Puking girl: I think so.
Non-puking girl: We should probably get some gum before we go up to those guys' apartment.
–34th & Park Ave
Queer on cell: And then, at the end of the evening, I was like, ‘Ta ta, motherfucker.’
–PATH train from Hoboken
Queer: There’s no such thing as gay and straight. I think of it more in terms of what people will let me do to them.
–101st & Broadway
Queer: She is so annoying. I’m like, ‘I’ll pay for your coffin, just die already!’
–E train
Overheard by: Miss Meliss
Flaming queer on cell: Hello? Are you listening to me? Are you listening, faggot? Faggot, faggot, faggot, faggot!
–Broadway & Astor Pl
Overheard by: Renee B.
Proud queer: Today was the first time in years I peed like this! [Holds hands up] Didn’t have to wash my hands because I didn’t use ’em!
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Hametuka
Queer: Her name is Dakota! It’s just awful. Her parents hate her.
–Fordham Law School
Overheard by: emily
Guy #1, shouting: We’re in the Village!
Guy #2: The Village?
Guy #1: We’re in the Village!
Guy #2: Ok… The Village…
Guy #1: So if someone grabs your dick, you know what it means!
–West 4th St Station
Overheard by: DS
Dude: I’d make out with Joshua* for non-gay reasons.
–Forest Ave, Staten Island
Overheard by: lol
Professor: A bar is not always a bar. You walk into a gay bar and you’ll see it’s not your ordinary bar. In ordinary bars men get excited and yell at the television. In gay bars men get excited, yell at each other, and hold hands!
–Freshman writing class, NYU
Overheard by: elle woods-chelseahuckabay
Professional queer to friend: It’s my mission to bring gay to everything, including bullet points.
–Urge, 2nd & 2nd
Overheard by: John
Queer: The Tony Award nominations were announced this morning, and now Jerry Falwell is dead. It’s such a great day to be gay!
–Union Square
Man: Yeah, we had the baby. Then I told her I was gay.
–103rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Kathleen
Thug on cell: The problem is that I have a faggy face! My face is just too faggy!
–42nd, between Broadway & 8th
Overheard by: Kitty
Suit: I love you, man! If I were gay, you’d be the first ass I’d bang.
–Houston & 6th
Overheard by: JEI
Girl #1: Again? That’s twice this week.
Girl #2: Yeah, I really think I am a nymphomaniac.
–3rd Ave & 60th St
