Sexuality

Teen boy: I don’t see how a gay boy’s booty just expands like that.
Queer bystander: Actually, it doesn’t expand — it rips.
Teen boy: Oh, thanks. I needed that.

–G train

Overheard by:

20-something woman #1: Why don’t boys like me? Because of my snaggle-tooth?
20-something woman #2: No. Because you’re obsessed with The Snorks.

–Relish, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Justin Casement

Black girl: Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror, and I’m just so hot that I wish I could fuck myself.
White girl: Oh my god, me too!
Black girl: Really, you look at yourself naked in the mirror, too?
White girl: No, I look at you in the mirror, silly.

–34th & 8th

Overheard by: Roderic

Hipster girl #1: It’s moderately inappropriate to have sex in the living room when other people are there.
Hipster girl #2: Well, are you loud?

–Sarita’s Macaroni & Cheese, 12th St & 1st Ave

Guy #1: No, he’s a draq queen not a trannie; he didn’t get it cut off.
Guy #2: So then RuPaul must be the most famous drag queen ever, man…
Guy #1: Probably not.
Guy #2: Who, then? Like…Fu Manchu?

–52nd & 6th

Woman #1: So, I heard you broke up with your fiancé. What happened?
Woman #2: Well, it turns out he was gay.
Woman #1: Oh, I am so sorry. Did you have any idea?
Woman #2: Yeah, I thought he was gay when I met him, but then we had sex and I thought, Well, if he can have sex with me, he can’t be that gay

–Tennis courts, Central Park West

Hipster Girl #1: So you guys should come. Oh! You should bring your boyfriend, I haven’t met him yet.
Hipster Girl #2: I wish I could but it’s on Wednesday night, right? He’s really into fashion, that’s when he watches Project Runway.
[Hipster Girl #1 stares blankly at Hipster Girl #2 for a few moments.]Hipster Girl #1: Oh.

–Central Park

Overheard by: hobojane

Good looking brunette: Yeah, then we talked about physics.
Intrigued girl pal: Oh, really? Why?
Good looking brunette: Not sure, but I remember it turned me on.
Intrigued girl pal: Oh…
(awkward silence)
Hot guy pal: (nods head)
Good looking brunette: What? I really like physics! Its the math… I really like math.

–Park Ave

Overheard by: angela

Hot Asian chick: Yeah, so I kept asking my boyfriend about how he had his ex finger his ass, and he got so pissy at me.
Gay black dude: Hmmph. He probably doesn’t want to admit he wants it up the booty all the time.
Hot Asian chick: He said he pretended that he liked it when she she’d butt play him. I don’t buy that shit.
Gay black dude: Honey, real men don’t pretend. Run!

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: henry

Queer #1 on cell: Hey, Dad! Yeah, I’m at the hotel in Midtown right now… Yep, it’s just me… I think a couple of girls are coming over later… Haha, yeah, you know how I roll with them. I’ll talk to you later, Dad [hangs up].
Queer #2: Liar, liar, pants on fire!

–Broadway & Broome

Overheard by: django