Hipster girl #1: It’s moderately inappropriate to have sex in the living room when other people are there.
Hipster girl #2: Well, are you loud?
–Sarita’s Macaroni & Cheese, 12th St & 1st Ave
Hipster girl #1: It’s moderately inappropriate to have sex in the living room when other people are there.
Hipster girl #2: Well, are you loud?
–Sarita’s Macaroni & Cheese, 12th St & 1st Ave
Guy #1: No, he’s a draq queen not a trannie; he didn’t get it cut off.
Guy #2: So then RuPaul must be the most famous drag queen ever, man…
Guy #1: Probably not.
Guy #2: Who, then? Like…Fu Manchu?
–52nd & 6th
Woman #1: So, I heard you broke up with your fiancé. What happened?
Woman #2: Well, it turns out he was gay.
Woman #1: Oh, I am so sorry. Did you have any idea?
Woman #2: Yeah, I thought he was gay when I met him, but then we had sex and I thought, Well, if he can have sex with me, he can’t be that gay…
–Tennis courts, Central Park West
Hipster Girl #1: So you guys should come. Oh! You should bring your boyfriend, I haven’t met him yet.
Hipster Girl #2: I wish I could but it’s on Wednesday night, right? He’s really into fashion, that’s when he watches Project Runway.
[Hipster Girl #1 stares blankly at Hipster Girl #2 for a few moments.]Hipster Girl #1: Oh.
–Central Park
Overheard by: hobojane
Good looking brunette: Yeah, then we talked about physics.
Intrigued girl pal: Oh, really? Why?
Good looking brunette: Not sure, but I remember it turned me on.
Intrigued girl pal: Oh…
(awkward silence)
Hot guy pal: (nods head)
Good looking brunette: What? I really like physics! Its the math… I really like math.
–Park Ave
Overheard by: angela
Hot Asian chick: Yeah, so I kept asking my boyfriend about how he had his ex finger his ass, and he got so pissy at me.
Gay black dude: Hmmph. He probably doesn’t want to admit he wants it up the booty all the time.
Hot Asian chick: He said he pretended that he liked it when she she’d butt play him. I don’t buy that shit.
Gay black dude: Honey, real men don’t pretend. Run!
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: henry
Queer #1 on cell: Hey, Dad! Yeah, I’m at the hotel in Midtown right now… Yep, it’s just me… I think a couple of girls are coming over later… Haha, yeah, you know how I roll with them. I’ll talk to you later, Dad [hangs up].
Queer #2: Liar, liar, pants on fire!
–Broadway & Broome
Overheard by: django
Straight girl #1: Go find me a cute boy!
Straight girl #2: Ok! I will… But he’s not going to be into you.
–Pride parade route
30-something guy: Don't tell me you have a boyfriend, I know that's not true.
20-something girl: Actually, I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say “I don't do dick.” But cool, have a nice day! (smiles and leaves)
–Grand Central Shuttle
Drunk-looking girl on cell: … And I just received a postcard of butts! Things are looking up!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Ladle
Angry soccer mom: Whoever has his or her hand on my ass, you better be one of my kids.
–Staten Island Ferry
Chick on cell: Ew! Ass striations?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ladle
College girl: I slept at Steve’s dorm. Needless to say, my ass cleared every surface he had in that room. Twice.
–Downtown B Train
Overheard by: Pola
Tall guy on cell: Listen, if you want a white woman to show you her ass all you gotta do is pull out a camera. They drop their panties in a second, at least that’s what I tell the committee.
–Starbucks, Columbus Circle
Conductor over loudspeaker: Aaaand next stop… Yo’ mama’s ass!
–F Train from Queens
Overheard by: Tina K
