Wednesday One-Liners Are Famous for Being Famous

Chick: When Derek Jeter sees where my new bug bites are, he’s going to go ballistic.

–McDonald’s, 51st & 3rd

Overheard by: Jack

Enlightened film student to dense film student: Y’know, I can’t wait for you to wake up one day, sit straight up in bed with your eyes open wide and realize that Quentin Tarantino sucks ass!

–Borders

Old guy to wife: God, Matthew McConaughey is a fucking faggot. That guy’s been sucking cock since he was born.

–42nd & Broadway

Newspaper peddler: Read all about it! Britney Spears just died! Read all about it!

–Wall St & Broadway

11-year-old girl, leaning on subway pole: I want to jump on this pole like Tila Tequila! She can put her legs up over her head!

–E train, 50th St

Posted on February 20, 2008
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Death, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gripes, Insults, Kids, Liars, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Old People, On the Subway, Restaurants & Cafes, Sports, Store, Students, Vendors & Street Performers, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wishes & desires

But You Know “Annotated Bibliography”?

Student #1: I finally finished that annotated bibliography.
Student #2: Oh, that’s not due until Thursday.
Student #1: Thursday?
Student #2: Yeah, didn’t you get the e-mail?
Student #1: E-mail?!
Student #2: Well, it was mentioned in class on Tuesday.
Student #1: Class?!

–NYU

Posted on February 15, 2008
Education, Gripes, NYU, Students, Words

Why an Ivy League Education Costs Extra

Professor, as a cellphone rings in class: You can e-mail me and I can send you different bird calls for your ringtones. You can assign all your friends different bird calls! That’s just like what I have, except I have frogs.
Student: She’s not kidding…

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Mo + J Beck

Posted on February 12, 2008
Cell Phone, Columbia (& Barnard), Students, Teachers/Professors

The Tongue in Your Ear Is All Part of the Experience

Professor: You should really consider going to Europe. It may be boring, but it’s cheap!
Ghetto girl in back: Fuck that shit! I’d rather go to Disney!
Professor: Europe is actually less expensive to go to than Disney.
Ghetto girl: Yeah, but only if you stay in a brothel!
Ghetto boy: Don’t you mean ‘hostel’?
Ghetto girl: Same thing, right?

–Fordham University-Rose Hill

Overheard by: Megan

Posted on February 12, 2008
Fordham, Global Geography, Students, Teachers/Professors, Words

The Bodies Exhibit?

Poli-sci professor: How can someone directly counteract the message of porn? What is the counter speech alternative?
Student: Seventh Heaven?

–NYU

Overheard by: Rajsingh Rules

Posted on February 11, 2008
NYU, Porn, Students, Teachers/Professors, TV

Today on The Jung and the Restless

Psych girl #1: So, how did your date go?
Psych girl #2: Oh, well, I felt that he definitely fit an archetype… But a good archetype.

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: Abram

Posted on February 10, 2008
NYU, Psychology, Students

Another Product of Wicca Affirmative Action

Substitute teacher: Ummm, you in the back — yeah — what are you doing?
Student, formerly mumbling and waving arms: Oh, just casting a spell.

–Hunter

Posted on February 9, 2008
Hunter, Mysticism, Students, Teachers/Professors

Shakespeare Makes Everybody Feel Like That

Girl: Jordan*, are you in the special English class, too?
Jordan: Yeah.
Girl: Why are we in that class? Is it something like an advanced class?
Jordan: No, it’s more like a retard class…

–Times Square

Posted on February 5, 2008
Education, Insults, Retardation, Students, Times Square

So the Dog Show Went Well, Then?

Female student: He couldn’t keep his eyes off of me.
Friend: Yeah?
Female student: Yeah, if I had said, ‘Jump,’ he would’ve said, ‘How high?’ That’s how fucking hot I was last night.

–Union Square

Overheard by: billy

Posted on February 4, 2008
Beauty, Students, Union Square and East Village

Students