College girl #1: I feel like if I flirted with you enough, I could get you to hook up with me.
College girl #2: I am not a lesbian!
College girl #1: We’ll see.
College girl #2: I cannot believe we are having this conversation again!
–Barnard College
College girl #1: I feel like if I flirted with you enough, I could get you to hook up with me.
College girl #2: I am not a lesbian!
College girl #1: We’ll see.
College girl #2: I cannot believe we are having this conversation again!
–Barnard College
Dude: So I just wrote, ‘John Locke was a great guy.’
Chick: That’s all you wrote? How many points did you get?
Dude: He gave me eight out of ten! He must have felt sorry for me.
Chick: Wow. I hope the professors at my school are that easy.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: writing these two out of the social contract
Professor: C’mon, people, we’ve all done it. It’s called a hand job. The priestess gave the statue a hand job every morning to keep the world going.
Student: Um, how did she know when the statue finished?
Professor: Well… I guess… when the sun came up.
–Religion and Love class, Hunter College
Overheard by: LH
Dental student: I was working on this girl’s teeth, and she just… started moving around all weird.
Student’s mother: Yeah? Did you prick her or something?
Dental student: No, she was just… um… masturbating. I didn’t know what to do so I just waited for her to finish and went to get more supplies. What else was I supposed to do?
–Restaurant, Times Square
Overheard by: Well, what would you do?
Chick #1: I should go to sleep earlier. I want to, but for some reason I just can’t.
Chick #2, reading: Uh-huh.
Chick #1: I should also kill my roommate. I desperately want to, but I don’t think prison would agree with me. I don’t want to be someone’s bitch.
Chick #2, still reading: Uh-huh.
Chick #1: Are you even listening to me?
Chick #2, exasperated: What the hell do you want?!
–NYU
Girl #1: Uh… This is the women’s restroom, right?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: This is the women’s restroom, right?
Girl #2: Yeah. Why?
Girl #1: There was just a guy in here!
Girl #3: No… that’s a woman.
Girl #1: Oh.
Girl #3: Yeah, she’s in my class.
–NYU
Headline by: Brady
Runners-Up:
· “Does She Always Stand While She Pees?” – Hobo Whisperer
· “Hermaphrodites 101” – Sami
· “Janet Reno: The College Years” – International Man of Leisure
· “Just because I’m washing my hands, doesn’t mean I can’t hear you.” – aaron Stephenson
NYU Tisch student #1: What are your views on religion?
NYU Tisch student #2: I don’t believe in God. I do believe in bran cereal. It protects against rectal cancer.
–NYU Tisch building
School girl #1: I wish I had the chance to watch more old movies.
School girl #2: Yeah, I totally know what you mean. I haven’t seen any of the classics… You know, like Breakfast at Tiffany’s or Dirty Dancing.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: trannysmithapple
College girl #1: If you have holes in your pants and it’s winter, you’re not making a fashion statement, you’re poor.
College girl #2: But she was wearing leggings under them…
College girl #1: No, I don’t care. She’s poor.
–St. John’s University
Asian chick: I’m just so sick of failing in general.
–NYU Bobst Library
Overheard by: jason
NYU girl to friends: Well, he’s not always drunk. Sometimes he’s high.
–Prince & Mercer
NYU chick: I found out I didn’t have AIDS… I went to Whole Foods… It was a good day.
–27th & Park
Overheard by: It was a good day
NYU bimbette: All popular people have herpes. Just look at them!
–NYU
NYU chick: Yeah, we almost broke up like four or five times, so I think that’s indicative that we’re happy together.
–Bowery & Canal
NYU girl on cell: I don’t know what to do about going abroad. My parents want me to go to London, but I looked at my Tarot cards and they’re telling me Dublin. What should I do?
–721 Broadway
Overheard by: Tyler
Queer student: I don’t really have a problem with incest, but in my family there aren’t many lookers.
–NYU Silver Center
