(after 20 minute discussion)
Kindergartener: What are we talking about?
Kindergarten teacher: Where have you been all day?
Kindergartener (shrugging) school.
–Public School
(after 20 minute discussion)
Kindergartener: What are we talking about?
Kindergarten teacher: Where have you been all day?
Kindergartener (shrugging) school.
–Public School
Student: For my song poem, I chose ‘Always and Forever,’ remade by Luther Vandross.
Professor, singing: Always and forever, each moment with you is just like a dream to me that somehow came true…
Student: Ahem. I have to read the poem. [After student is done reading, professor leads class in singing the whole song.]
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
Prof: A noun is a person, place or thing. Can someone give me a noun? William?
William: How ’bout…motherfucker?
Prof: That could be a noun, but also a verb or even an adjective…
–BMCC
Overheard by: Professor
Professor: Has anyone seen an opera? Which was your favorite?
Student: Well, I only saw one.
Professor: Which one?
Student: Cats.
–Jay & Tillary
Professor: In this court case the Kitty Kat Lounge challenged a state law demanding that dancers wear pasties and a G-string while dancing.
Queer: What is a pasty exactly?
Professor: Who here has experience with pasties?
Frat boy: They are minuscule little stickers that cover the areolae.
Professor, laughing awkwardly: I’ve encountered these before. My girlfriend, when she doesn’t want to wear a bra or whatever but doesn’t want her nipples to show, has worn these… And this was my first encounter with pasties.
–Silver Building, NYU
Girl: My arms are too short for this pose.
Yoga instructor: You’re Hungarian, aren’t you?
–New York Sports Club, Harlem
Overheard by: Samantha
NYU professor: And so the Chinese invented statistics to take censuses. (to girl) Would you have been counted?
Girl: Um… Yes?
Guy: No, because they only counted men in the censuses.
Professor: Right, because this was back in the good old days, when men were men and women were washing machines.
–NYU Kaufman Building
Overheard by: Erin
Teacher: My father always told me, "Never run away from a fight. If the guy's bigger than you, hit him. If he gets back up, hit him again. If he gets back up again, hit him with a garbage can. If he still gets back up, run like hell, 'cause this dude's gonna kill you!"
–Stuyvesant High School
Teacher: Okay. Emergency procedures. If the fire bell rings, we run like hell.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Goober
Chinese teacher (referring to Sichuan earthquake): They had a saying after the earthquake happened that originates from a male part. "People are supposed to rise up, and get hard!" …and be strong.
–Bard High School Early College
Math teacher: Give me your little men!
–Spence School
English teacher: I could be charged with child abuse in some states for teaching grammar in 90-degree weather. (student is silent) I'm not going to hit you.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Student: Didn’t the ancient Romans also eat lying down?
Professor: Yes.
Student: That’s really bad for your digestion.
Professor: Well, it was good for having sex with the hired help after.
–Bard High School Early College
Teacher: I may kill you anyway because of that whole desperado thing.
Student: I don’t even know what desperadoes are. I just said it because you don’t like them!
Teacher: That’s reason enough.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Liz
