Thugs

Going Back to His Wife in Scarsdale

Ghetto chick: I’m pregnant
Thug: So?
Ghetto chick: What do you mean, "So"?
Thug: Shouldn’t you be having this conversation with your husband
Ghetto chick: And tell him what, that I cheated and got pregnant?
Thug: No, but you can tell him to pay for the abortion or he’ll be raising my kid, if it’s even mine.
Ghetto chick: What the fuck do you mean if it’s yours?
Thug: Bitch please! I’m a pimp, look I gotta go–you and your husband figure it out.
Ghetto chick: Where the fuck you think your going?
Thug: Bitch, I don’t answer to you. I’m out.

–875 3rd Ave

Overheard by: splashmaster

Sometimes at the Same Time, While Making a Dummy Talk

Tall thug, shaking Pepsi bottle: This shit will kill you. See all that acid and artificial coloring. Stays in your stomach.
Short ghetto chick: Yeah, I know, you’re right.
Tall thug: You gotta drink water.
Short ghetto chick: Yeah.
Tall thug: See, me, I smoke a lot of weed and drink a lot of water.

–4 Train, 59th Street

I Thought It Was Ba-Dunk-a-Dunkin’ Donuts

Thug in cuffs: Yo, da ba-dunk-a-dunk is constimatutionally protected!
Undercover cop: Yes, but this is child pornography.

–Houston & West

Overheard by: Nick Dempsey

Wednesday One-Liners Ask: You Eating That?

JAP: Ew! I think the turkey in this salad is ham.

–30th & 7th

Overheard by: AJ Stone

Sparkling conversationalist: I couldn’t eat for a while. It destroyed my appetite, and it totally killed the tapeworm. So tonight I can eat a good amount, but not a tapeworm amount.

–Lafayette between 4th & Astor

Overheard by: uncle frank

Girl: I hate eating fish, except when my grandma makes it. She makes it taste like beef.

–Central Park

Girlfriend to boyfriend: It wasn’t just the egg roll, Jerry; it was all of last week.

–Washington Square

Discerning sniffer: It smells good in here…like Spam.

–Medical office, Canal & Bowery

Thug: Yo, do I still got mad hummus on my lip?

–F station, 2nd Ave

Overheard by: cara

Woman to little girl: You stick that in your mouth now before I shove it down your throat! I bought that ice cream, now stick it!

–11th & 1st

Overheard by: Jamieson

I’m Telling His Mother He Will Not Let Me Play Gangsta With Him

Thug: He is treating me like I am not gangsta. This is hurting me. He is treating me like I am not gangsta! I am gangsta!

–Subway platform, Herald Square

Overheard by: Brian

The Essential Facts Are Explained at Length in The Bonfire of the Vanities

Thug boy: Yo, nigga, why you wearin’ a tie? You gotta go to court?
Teacher: No.
Thug girl: I bet you gotsta go to a funeral. Somebody got kilt, right?
Teacher: No, I just thought I would wear a tie for my first day. I’m a new teacher here.
Thug guy: Yeah, no shit you new, dressin’ like the fuckin’ president or some shit. You gonna get your dumb ass jumped.
Teacher: For dressing nicely?
Thug girl: Stupid ass white people don’t know shit about livin’ in New York.

–Franklin K Lane HS, Brooklyn

Overheard by: jeff lebowski

Wednesday One-Liners Can’t Decide Which Coldplay Lyric to Put in Their Profiles

Teen girl: Wow! I just realized I haven’t been online all day!

–34th & 6th

Overheard by: Different Generation

Middle-aged woman: 50% of the population is allergic to wheat. They just don’t know it. It’s true– I read it on the internet.

–Port Authority

Guy: You should start a fight with her on MySpace.

–75th & Amsterdam

Guy: I’m pretty sure my cat has Down’s syndrome…You can read about it on my MySpace blog.

–Spice, Chelsea

Overheard by: DJR

Thug: MySpace is like crack, yo. I’m addicted to that shit.

–F train

Overheard by: Laurence Lau

Girl: Google is, like, totally taking over the world!

–Terminal 4, JFK

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Girl on cell: We need, like, a slutty web-designer friend we can bring in on this.

–Harlem

Overheard by: Buttons

Scruffy dude: I should just bring her a bunch of photos of my ex-girlfriend and slam them down and be like, “Find one, just one of these, that you’re hotter than.” I can’t believe she wouldn’t give me her e-mail address. She must be out of her mind. I mean, just give me a fake one. Like, something at hotmail.com. Anything!

–54th & 10th

Overheard by: Waiting for The Colbert Report

Guy wearing t-shirt that says “You are so off my buddy list”: So I am thinking about creating another website that’s Jedi-friendly.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Palmala Handerson

‘Real Hip-Hop Artist’ Is an Oxymoron, So We Cannot Verify This

Girl #1: He’s a hip-hop artist; he has to have an Asian girfriend.
Girl #2: He already has one.
Guy: If he’s a real hip-hop artist, he has to have two.

–Spring & Sullivan

Overheard by: inge

Alcohol Burns More Than One Thing, Son

Ghetto teen reveals bottle of liquor stashed in plastic bag.

Ghetto teen #1: Yo, that shit burns your esophagus, but it tastes so good.
Ghetto teen #2: Nah, son, alcohol burns your liver.
Ghetto teen #1: No! Your esophagus!
Ghetto teen #2: No, your liver…Wait, is esophagus another word for liver?

–7 train

Coming Up Next on This Is Your Life, Pauly Shore’s Parents Discuss His Birth

Thug: …’cause most doctors will tell you, most doctors will actually tell you that a little marijuana is good for the baby.
Pregnant girlfriend: Really?

–14th St

Overheard by: Rationalization Whiplash

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist