Tourist guy: You’re from North Carolina. You’ve got that Southern charm thing going on with the, ‘Hey, y’all!’
Tourist chick: Yeah, I’m real damn charming.
–TKTS line
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Tourist guy: You’re from North Carolina. You’ve got that Southern charm thing going on with the, ‘Hey, y’all!’
Tourist chick: Yeah, I’m real damn charming.
–TKTS line
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
NYer: No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.
–23th & 5th
Tourist man: Honey, there’s something stuck on your pants…Honey, it’s toilet paper!
Tourist woman: But, it can’t be; I haven’t gone to the bathroom in hours.
–43rd & 7th
Tourist, tapping man on shoulder: Excuse me sir, would you mind pointing me to the Empire State Building, please?
Man, pointing at the sky: See that building? The shiny big one, with all the pretty lights? Walk straight towards it.
Tourist: Thank you, my good man!
–Downing St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Emma
Stupid tourist girl: Where you heading?
Not-so-stupid tourist, pointing to Empire State Building: We're going there.
Stupid tourist girl: What's that?
Not-so-stupid tourist: Seriously? It's the Empire State Building.
Stupid tourist girl: How am I supposed to know? I've never been here before!
–E 14th St
Headline by: thirsy
Runners-Up:
· “Hey! There’s a Giant Drag Queen in the Harbor!” – Nick Pollotta
· “Now Tell Me About the Big Shiny Blue Thing in the East” – Nick Pollotta
· “That’s What You Said When We Went to the Bathroom” – BabakganoosH
· “Why Are All These Cars Yellow?” – pbump
· “Yet She Expects Me to Find the Clitoris” – joe
· “You Mean Earth, Right?” – aliensareamongus
Tourist man to wife, walking to back of train as it pulls forward: C’mon, I want a seat in the front.
–NJ Transit, Penn Station
Overheard by: Casey
Scared tourist #1, whispering: Did that crazy guy just say his dick was bigger than my heart?
Scared tourist #2, whispering back: I think he said his dick was bigger than yours.
Crazy guy: I said my dick is bigger than your heart.
–A train
Overheard by: Mike
Tourist: New York City is the only place in the country that does not have right on red. It doesn't make sense.
Impatient New Yorker chick: Because you'd never get off the sidewalk.
Tourist (in a condescending way): Lady, right on red is for cars. Not for people. (rolls eyes)
–42nd & Broadway
Tourist #1: Isn't it smurf that when you talk like a smurf people still smurf what you want to smurf?
Tourist #2: What?
–Times Square
Loud, blue-haired girl: Of course! I always pee in the shower!
Tourist: … Is that one of those pixies you were talking about?
Local: Yeah. That was a pixie girl. The city’s full of them.
–8th & 4th
