Black guy #1: I’ve been banging her for four weeks now.
Black guy #2: Word!
Black guy #1: Yo, I just found out Ty was banging her, too.
Black guy #2: Man! You can take the ho out of the Bronx but you can’t take Bronx out of the ho.
–F train platform, Bryant Park station
Overheard by: Sal S.
Guy #1: So when I started telling him my feelings on the Iraq war, he rolled over to me in his wheelchair and started cursing me out. He was going on about his time in Vietnam and how there are things about war I’ll never understand.
Guy #2: That sucks.
Guy #1: I was like, “Whoa. You’re my shrink! I’m paying you to listen to me!”
Guy #2: Seriously.
Guy #1: Well, at least the co-pay was only $15. But anyway, I’m definitely not going back to him.
–Von, Bleecker & Elizabeth
Overheard by: Blondie
Girl on cell: You have to just ask him. But you have to ask him to his face so you can see his reaction. Just look him in the eye and say, “Dad, are you on Match.com?” and see if he looks surprised. You just have to confront stuff like that.
–4th & Broadway
Overheard by: uncle frank
Girl #1: …maybe a tattoo. We should get tattoos.
Girl #2: I find those people, them, to be low class.
Girl #1: But we are low class.
Girl #2: Touche.
–6 train, Union Square
Overheard by: somethingnew
Guy #1 on cell: Hey it’s me. Listen, I’m about to walk into the subway, I’m gonna lose you, I just wanted to tell you that my parents are gonna be there tonight, and I know you didn’t want them to see your tattoos the first time they met you, so I wanted to tell you so you could…oh. Hi, Mrs. Goldstein.
Guy #1 to guy #2: FUCK! I cannot believe I just did that! Her mother had no idea she has tattoos.
Guy #2: I don’t see the big deal, so she has tattoos, everyone has…wait, did you say her last name was Goldstein? I get it now.
–Astor Place
Guy #1: My ass is killing me.
Guy #2: Really? Mine feels alright.
Guy #1: Well, you weren’t doing what I was doing all day. It feels like someone ripped my ass off and stapled it back on.
–Paragon Sporting Goods, 17th & Broadway
Overheard by: ericaS
Singing hobo: Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip —
Girl with a lot of rage: Shut the fuck up! I hate that fucking show. Gilligan’s Island. Fuck you, man.
–Union Square
Frat boy #1: Did you see that?!
Frat boy #2: What?
Frat boy #1: That guy just fucked you with his eyes.
–12th & University
Overheard by: Eyefucker’s straight friend
Girl: Well, Christy works with three people who are getting sex changes.
Guy: Yeah, but she works at a vegan restaurant.
–Ave A & St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: jenny wallace
Girl: Ew, I don’t even want to think about it. Cunnilingus.
Guy #1: Of course you think it’s gross if you call it that.
Guy #2: It’s just Latin.
Guy #1: It’s vulgar Latin.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jeeves
