If She Loves You, She Won’t Mind Being Disowned

Guy #1 on cell: Hey it’s me. Listen, I’m about to walk into the subway, I’m gonna lose you, I just wanted to tell you that my parents are gonna be there tonight, and I know you didn’t want them to see your tattoos the first time they met you, so I wanted to tell you so you could…oh. Hi, Mrs. Goldstein.
Guy #1 to guy #2: FUCK! I cannot believe I just did that! Her mother had no idea she has tattoos.
Guy #2: I don’t see the big deal, so she has tattoos, everyone has…wait, did you say her last name was Goldstein? I get it now.

–Astor Place

Posted on June 13, 2006
Parents, Stupidity, Tattoos, Union Square and East Village, White People

Is It Straight?

Guy #1: My ass is killing me.
Guy #2: Really? Mine feels alright.
Guy #1: Well, you weren’t doing what I was doing all day. It feels like someone ripped my ass off and stapled it back on.

–Paragon Sporting Goods, 17th & Broadway

Overheard by: ericaS

Posted on June 13, 2006
Body Parts, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Shopping, Sports, Union Square and East Village

Ginger Did Her Boyfriend

Singing hobo: Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip —
Girl with a lot of rage: Shut the fuck up! I hate that fucking show. Gilligan’s Island. Fuck you, man.

–Union Square

Posted on June 11, 2006
Anger Management, Hobos, Manhattan, Music, Pop Culture, TV, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers

Were They Piercing?

Frat boy #1: Did you see that?!
Frat boy #2: What?
Frat boy #1: That guy just fucked you with his eyes.

–12th & University

Overheard by: Eyefucker’s straight friend

Posted on June 10, 2006
Body Parts, College, Manhattan, NYU, Preppies, Queers, Sex, Sex & Relationships, The Village, Union Square and East Village

You’re Saying It’s Not a Representative Sample?

Girl: Well, Christy works with three people who are getting sex changes.
Guy: Yeah, but she works at a vegan restaurant.

–Ave A & St. Mark’s Place

Overheard by: jenny wallace

Posted on June 4, 2006
Body Parts, Fashion, Food, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Queers, Restaurants & Cafes, Union Square and East Village

It Sounds Worse in Ecclesiastical Latin

Girl: Ew, I don’t even want to think about it. Cunnilingus.
Guy #1: Of course you think it’s gross if you call it that.
Guy #2: It’s just Latin.
Guy #1: It’s vulgar Latin.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Jeeves