Girl #1: Oh, look at the beautiful flowers.
Girl #2: They look like a man’s asshole!
–Key Foods, 4th & A
Overheard by: mikey
Girl #1: Oh, look at the beautiful flowers.
Girl #2: They look like a man’s asshole!
–Key Foods, 4th & A
Overheard by: mikey
Little English girl: Where are we now, Mummy?
English Mummy: We’re in New York, in America.
Little English girl: [sigh] We’re still in America?
–Union Square East
Overheard by: Manhattman
College girl: Oh. Did you use to ride horses as a kid?
Jappy guy: No. I’m just rich
–12th & 5th
Overheard by: Mehler
Sista #1: Looka there! A naked squirrel! Look like he got burnt or somebody shaved him down the middle.
Sista #2: People be eatin’ squirrels now.
Sista #1: Look like he have a mohawk.
Sista #2: It’s a little squirrel torture place somewhere. Somebody done that to him.
Sista #1: It’d have to be someone who was raised in the woods. Know how to handle a squirrel.
–Union Square
Overheard by: lost soul
Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’ve been having the shittiest day today. No, it has nothing to do with our conversation this morning. Listen, believe it or not, I can have a shitty day that has nothing to do with you…Ugh, I have no idea why I called you. [hangs up] My fucking dad. I can’t even get a sympathy “it’s all rainbows and bunnies” phone-hug from him!
–Union Square W & 15th
Overheard by: someone who knows how she feels
Girl #1: But, like, why do all the gay guys have to be so hot?
Girl #2: I know. At least all the lesbians are ugly!
–Times Square
Black guy #1: I’ve been banging her for four weeks now.
Black guy #2: Word!
Black guy #1: Yo, I just found out Ty was banging her, too.
Black guy #2: Man! You can take the ho out of the Bronx but you can’t take Bronx out of the ho.
–F train platform, Bryant Park station
Overheard by: Sal S.
Guy #1: So when I started telling him my feelings on the Iraq war, he rolled over to me in his wheelchair and started cursing me out. He was going on about his time in Vietnam and how there are things about war I’ll never understand.
Guy #2: That sucks.
Guy #1: I was like, “Whoa. You’re my shrink! I’m paying you to listen to me!”
Guy #2: Seriously.
Guy #1: Well, at least the co-pay was only $15. But anyway, I’m definitely not going back to him.
–Von, Bleecker & Elizabeth
Overheard by: Blondie
Girl on cell: You have to just ask him. But you have to ask him to his face so you can see his reaction. Just look him in the eye and say, “Dad, are you on Match.com?” and see if he looks surprised. You just have to confront stuff like that.
–4th & Broadway
Overheard by: uncle frank
Girl #1: …maybe a tattoo. We should get tattoos.
Girl #2: I find those people, them, to be low class.
Girl #1: But we are low class.
Girl #2: Touche.
–6 train, Union Square
Overheard by: somethingnew
