Hobo: Hey, can you spare some money?
Man: Sorry.
Hobo: That’s my favorite board game!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Jason
Hobo: Hey, can you spare some money?
Man: Sorry.
Hobo: That’s my favorite board game!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Jason
Guy: Yo, Katie, why do you always gotta look at me like I just looked at your ass or somethin’?
Katie: Well, because most of the time you usually are!
–Cheap Shots, 1st Ave between 9th & St.Mark’s
Overheard by:
Keen observer: They’re fuckin’ cowards, man! Mountain lions are cowards, too.
–12th & Bedford, Brooklyn
Loud girl on cell: Well don’t ask me! I don’t know anything about the mechanics of whale sex!
–9th Ave
Subway conductor: Please enter the train as human beings, not wild animals.
–23rd St F station
Guy: Yeah that reminds me of my first time. He took me to dinner but was too nice and perfect. Then in bed he made animal noises and his cat was like between us and he didn’t kick it out of bed.
–Nowhere bar, 14th St between 1st and 2nd
Campaign worker: Are you a registered Democrat in New York?
Guy: I believe in God.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jenny Tobias
Drugged out gangsta kid #1: I got mad depth perception, yo.
Drugged out gangsta kid #2: Yo, do you know what that means?
Drugged out gangsta kid #1: Yeah, I can see really good out one eye.
Drugged out gangsta kid #2: No, man. Deaf means you can’t hear shit!
–L train platform, Union Square
Tourist #1: What park is this? Where am I?
Tourist #2: It’s Tompkins Square Park.
Tourist #1: Well, I am clearly too good for this park.
Tourist #2: What?
Tourist #1: Seriously, look at these people. I am way too good for this park and these people.
–7th and Ave A
Overheard by: Miss Parker
Tourist: Um, do you live here?
Teen girl: Uh, yeah.
Tourist: Oh, is that the Empire State Building?
Teen girl: You mean the big, pointy building?
Tourist: [nods]Teen girl: What the fuck do you think? [walks away] Fucking tourist.
Tourist: Thank you! [to friend] So, wait, is it the Empire State Building?
–near Union Square
Girl: You’re like McDonald’s: over one billion served!
Guy: So what does that make you: an extra value meal?
–7th & B
Guy #1 (wearing do-rag): You know why I wear this shit, man?
Guy #2: Nah, man, why?
Guy #1: Because I love the stare. I love it when some dumb white guy stares at me and asks why I wear this so I can curse the shit out of that mothafucka!
–14th & 1st
Woman: You know how the Germans continue to punish the Jews? They date them.
–6th St & 2nd Ave
