Blonde #1: I met Kelly in Portland.
Blonde #2: Which Portland?
Blonde #1: What are you talking about?
Blonde #2: Well there are two: one on the east coast, one on the west coast.
(long silence)
Blonde #1: You know, it’s not funny to lie all the time like that.
–Houston St
Girl #1: Do you think I'm a loser?
Girl #2: What? No. Why?
Girl #1: I haven't gotten laid in like five months.
Girl #2: There's a guy traveling cross country to fuck you! I don't have that.
Girl #1: You got fucked by a porn star! More than once! And she wants to do it again!
Girl #2: We'll it's not like she's flying cross country just for that.
Girl #1: Have you asked her? She might.
Girl #2: Yeah right, I can't even get my girlfriend to come in from Jersey.
Girl #1: (pause) Ewww. Who wants to be in Jersey.
–Elephant & Castle, West Village
Queer #1: I could fly from here to San Francisco.
Queer #2: Straight?
–19th & Broadway
Tourist chick: Know what would be awesome? If we could manage to not sound like assholes for like 10 minutes.
Tourist guy: We’re from Ohio.
–PATH train
Dude #1: You know how I know you’re gay?
Dude #2, wearily: Because I love Connecticut.
Dude #1: What a fucking horrible place!
–Clinton & Myrtle, Clinton Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: JP
Blonde #1: I feel like I didn’t apply to enough colleges. [Looks at poster of the University of Chicago] Oooh, Chicago. I should go there.
Dude: You won’t get in.
Blonde #1, ignoring him: Where is Chicago, anyway? It’s a country, right? Ohhh, wait! I’m so stupid. It’s a state!
Blonde #2: Duh.
–College office, High School of Telecommunication Arts and Technology, Brooklyn
Overheard by: …If I didn’t get in, she shouldn’t even be applying
Hipster in Williamsburg: I’ve traveled all around the providentials of New England.
Woman: Hey, we should go to Alaska sometime.
Man: Alaska? We can’t even find our way downstairs!
–Eskimo Diorama, American Museum of Natural History
Yuppie: I just really hate the Garden State mentality.
–West Village
Woman: Where is Georgia anyway?
Her brother: It’s a state.
Woman: I know, but where is it?
Her brother: Down south somewhere.
–Newark Airport
Overheard by: Coffee
