Bike messenger, at a trio of small dogs barking at him: What is it boy? There was an accident at the old saw mill? Timmy’s been hurt?
JAP walking dogs, angrily: Did I say you could talk to my fucking dogs? Get the fuck away from my dogs! [to dogs] I’m sorry, sweet babies. Did the crazy poor person scare you? My poor sweet babies.
–Lincoln Square
Overheard by: adrift midwestern hipster
Mother to eight-year-old daughter, gesturing to hipsters: You know why they wear those tight pants?
Eight-year-old daughter : No, why?
Mother: They got no dick. No boner in those pants.
–Lorimer & Metropolitan, Williamsburg
Man #1: Hey man! I thought you were doing 30 years?!
Man #2: That was 30 years!
–Hamilton Heights
Woman: Honey, how about McDonald's? You want some chicken nuggets?
Toddler in a stroller: I'd rather die.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Darcie
Friend #1: Go to the left.
Friend #2: I'm trying!
Friend #1: Don't try! Just push people!
–5th Ave & 49th St
Overheard by: autumn
NYU guy: Jake* has problems.
NYU girl: Does he have polio?
–NYU Dining Hall
Overheard by: Shanaca
Dude: Also, it was kind of fun to walk down the street hitting myself in the neck with a hammer.
Chick: I think that was around the same time as the plastic cube.
Dude: No, I wasn't wearing the plastic box on my head at that point. It would have interfered with the neck hammering.
–Lenny's Bagels, 23rd St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Professor: So when humans evolved to bipedalism and were walking on two legs instead of four, their sexual practices changed and they began to have face to face sex.
Guy in back of class: Well, I mean… it's not always face to face.
Professor: Well, it tends to be the most common and most comfortable way for bipeds to have sex.
(long pause)
Professor: I assume by your silence that you disagree.
–Barnard
Overheard by: You had to say that to the Prof???
Lady: Do you sell falafel?
Vendor: Ah! Falafel is gyro, gyro is falafel!
Lady: Falafel is chick peas. Gyro is meat.
Vendor: Falafel is bullshit!
Lady: I’ll have a gyro.
–Canal & Greene
Overheard by: Melina the Sad Falafel
Girl #1: How was babysitting yesterday?
Girl #2: Pretty good, but all of a sudden, in the middle of the park, the kid I was watching begins to breastfeed her doll… (silence) I'm not kidding.
Girl #1: Wow, that's fucked up.
–Barneys Co-Op, Spring St
