Teenage girl #1: My dad is so weird. He like, listens to albums where people wear blackface.
Teenage girl #2: Is he, like, a Nazi?
Teenage girl #1: No, he grew up in the South.
–Ceci-Cela, Chambers Street
Overheard by: Jon Edelman
Teenage girl #1: My dad is so weird. He like, listens to albums where people wear blackface.
Teenage girl #2: Is he, like, a Nazi?
Teenage girl #1: No, he grew up in the South.
–Ceci-Cela, Chambers Street
Overheard by: Jon Edelman
A crazy man is walking around with headphones and a walkman trying to interview people, using the walkman as a microphone.
Crazy man: Who loves New York? I love New York! How about you…Who loves New York?
He holds the “mic” up to the guy.
Guy: Is this for ABC?
Crazy man: Fuck ABC, Fuck NBC, Fuck CBC. This is me. Who loves New York?
–31st & 6th
Overheard by: P. Mills
Crazy lady: I spent two years single, and then I met Jesus. And Jesus and I have been together for four years. And Jesus never forgets to call and check in once in awhile. He says, “Hey, how you doin’?”.
–Sunnyside
Overheard by: Mikey
Guy: He was into wearing slippers without socks. Like Jesus.
–Union Square station
Subway preacher: Jay Z ain’t gonna save ya! Jesus’ll save ya!
–West 4th Street station
The subway doors open. A hobo enters, holding a bottle of windex in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in the other.
Hobo: Which is the better time to read Dostyevsky? Winter?
He sprays the windex.
Hobo: Or Spring?
He squeezes toothpaste out of the tube.
Japanese girl: Spring!
Hobo: You are correct.
–F train
Overheard by: Pete Johnson
Woman: I want to stay inside Disney World. I’m going to see the Bain de Soleil Circus and everything.
–50th & 7th
Overheard by: O. Pressed
Dude on cell: So he’s getting married?…So he’s getting married in Wyoming?…So he’s getting married by Elvis?
–Houston & Varick
Teen mom: Someday I’m gonna get out of here and have fun. Like go to Gray’s Papaya or something.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Tyla
Contractor on cell: Uncle Monty left his nightmares at home last night.
–Park Slope
Girl on cell: …since we lived underwater we were seapeople, and we were a lot like seahorses, and you were pregnant because, you know, male seahorses carry the baby. And then we had to go on land for you to have the baby…
–Hunter College cafeteria
Woman on cell: I’m telling you, this guy is the man of my dreams. The only thing that could go wrong at this point is if he turns out to be, like, 4’11” or something.
–Prospect Heights
(cf. this entry.)
Guy on cell: You’ve got the best job: being a mom.
–42nd between 6th & Madison
Woman: …maybe because I got my period in the 4th grade and looked like everybody’s mother by the 6th grade. I was huge.
–27th street office
Mom: Now, this is not the Louvre, so don’t be jaded or anything.
–Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: Cat Pop
Drunk: If a woman hadda right to choose where I come from, I wouldn’t be here today!
–Odessa Cafe, Avenue A
Overheard by: Ted Lattis
Chick: I saw my mother on stage in underwear and a bra with motorized tassels…
–13th & 5th
Overheard by: Caroline Norris
Counter Guy: K…K…K!…Okay, turkey and brie!
Customer #1: That’s not K, that’s H.
Customer #2: H is the new K.
–Liberty Deli, W. 56th St.
Overheard by: Steve
Tourist: You can tell it’s raining because everybody here has umbrellas.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Joel Guilbert
Nut: I have powers, she has powers, and she knows that I have powers!
–Astor Place
B&T chick: What I really liked about this guy is that he could write his name in cocaine. And underline it.
–Grand Central food court
Overheard by: Nathan K. Claus
Guy: All I want is for my relatives to die in a certain order.
–University Ave, Bronx
Overheard by: Kaitlen
