Asian guy #1: Paris Hilton. When you’re walking out of an elevator and you see Paris Hilton, it’s like you’re starstruck.
Asian guy #2: Yeah. [They exit.]Middle-aged woman: Yadda, yadda, yadda.
–Elevator, 34th & Broadway
Overheard by: Rita and Laura
Asian guy #1: Paris Hilton. When you’re walking out of an elevator and you see Paris Hilton, it’s like you’re starstruck.
Asian guy #2: Yeah. [They exit.]Middle-aged woman: Yadda, yadda, yadda.
–Elevator, 34th & Broadway
Overheard by: Rita and Laura
Girl #1: Who is he, again?
Girl #2, screaming: John Norris! He’s old, gap in his teeth, MTV News guy… [Turns and sees he’s been standing right next to her.] Oh! Well, hello there!
–New York Sports Club
Overheard by: anonny
Little girl looking at sculpture of Jessica Simpson: Look, Mommy — Britney Spears!
–Madame Tussauds
Overheard by: Mimbo
Dude to another: You’re not so bad yourself. You look like Kevin Nealon on a good day. A good day!
–22nd & Broadway
Overheard by: I wish
Man: Ahmadinejad is not a baller.
–114th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Old Russian man to skate rat: Excuse me, what for are they talking about when they say, ‘J. Lo is meat curtains’?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Billy Splatts!
Goth girl: So, I’m like Jon Benet Ramsey, parenthetically speaking.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: meliss
Woman: … So then I rolled over, and it was Bill Murray on Rollerblades playing drums on my windowpane!
–Prince & Thompson
Overheard by: Emily
Girlfriend: Come on, I really wanna see that movie about Jane Austen.
Boyfriend: She was the one that lived with the chimpanzees, right?
Girlfriend: No, that was Jane Seymour.
–38th & Lex
Skinny girl #1, reading magazine: Why are they showing Jessica Biel’s diet? She’s not even skinny.
Skinny girl #2: Seriously! They should show Nicole Richie’s diet: don’t eat.
–73rd & Columbus
Lawyer #1: My wife bought the official Sopranos book.
Lawyer #2: Is it good?
Lawyer #1: Yeah, it has a lot of inside stuff about the cast and how the show was put together.
Lawyer #2: I’m gonna miss that show.
Lawyer #1: I read something really strange in that book though.
Lawyer #2: What?
Lawyer #1: You know Drea de Matteo, the chick who played Adriana?
Lawyer #2: Chris’s girlfriend, right?
Lawyer #1: Yeah. The book says that in real life she has the balls of one of her dogs in a glass jar full of preservative. She keeps it on display in her house.
Lawyer #2: What for?
Lawyer #1: How the fuck should I know? She says it’s to remember him by. What’s the matter, she couldn’t take a picture?
–Supreme Court, Kings County
Overheard by: Big Larry
Thugette on cell: Yeah, I’m planning on getting arrested this weekend. That’s my new thing now. Instead of going to the club and shit, I’m just going to get arrested.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Clitoris Rex
Metrosexual: Oh my god! Did you hear that Paris Hilton just escaped from prison?
–Broadway & Prince
Mom eating fried chicken: I always thought Penn Station stop was named after a penitentiary…
–A train
Overheard by: Denning
Mocking cop to dude he just arrested: You’ve got jail!
–West Village
Lady yuppie: I mean, at first I thought he was seriously psycho, but then I started to think, Maybe he’s just being creative…
–Outside NY Public Library
Overheard by: Miss_Rach
Black guy to himself: I’m not like the rest of you — I’m just an ordinary loon!
–52nd & 3rd
Overheard by: what?
Hobo: Does anybody have Amy Fisher’s phone number? I love crazy chicks!
–R train
Old woman to middle-aged woman: You have to walk on the crazy side of the street.
–2nd & 7th, Park Slope
Overheard by: D-Law
Lady to another, pointing at Borough Hall: Is that place a mental institution?
–Stuyvesant Pl, outside SI Borough Hall
Chick: Have you ever read Catch 22?
Guy: Was it written by Dr. Seuss?
Chick: No.
Guy: Then no.
–Pace University
Overheard by: Hugh
