Teen girl #1: Oh my gosh, Brad Pitt is such an idiot.
Teen girl #2: I know, he never should’ve left Jen.
Teen girl #1: No, I mean, can’t he see that the baby is clearly not his?
–Penn Station newsstand
Teen girl #1: Oh my gosh, Brad Pitt is such an idiot.
Teen girl #2: I know, he never should’ve left Jen.
Teen girl #1: No, I mean, can’t he see that the baby is clearly not his?
–Penn Station newsstand
Man #1: Dude, you won’t believe who I just saw in the park!
Man #2: Yeah, I heard Avril was there.
Man #1: Fuck that shit, bro. I just saw Emeril there doing some Good Morning American shit. BAM!
–40th between Broadway & 6th
Overheard by: Gregorio
Old Jewess: That Suzanne Somers has some nerve. She is writing another diet book. I have a friend who has read all her diet books and every year she gets fatter and fatter.
–Music Box theatre, West 45th Street
Fratboy: She was like an ugly Paris Hilton, but not rich.
–C train
Overheard by: nicolette
Guy: I’m gonna beat you like an Olsen twin.
–68th & Columbus
Overheard by: Andrew Zar
Teen boy: Yo, I heard that Tupac was named after a Jewish holiday.
–Red Hook
Guy: Yeah, you know, that’s the great thing about the Kennedys: they get $1 off of every bottle of Scotch that they buy. You know, because their dad was a bootlegger and all.
–52 & Lexington
Lady: The only film that Jessica Simpson belongs in is a snuff film.
Guy: Now that shit would be a blockbuster!
–Sony Lincoln Square, 68th Street
Overheard by: Casey McKendrick
Man #1: I don’t recognize any of the actors in the new Dukes of Hazzard movie.
Man #2: There’s one guy who all the kids know in it. He got famous on that show…what was it called?…Asshole.
–Park Slope
Girl: …I mean, I don’t care. As long as he doesn’t hit her in my house!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Errin D.
Drunk thug: Yo, fuck Lil’ Bow Wow! If I get the chance I’ll cut that nigga…with my MetroCard! And then I’ll swipe him through.
–Last Exit, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mr. Brojangles
Jewess: If Miriam acts that way again to me, I am going to slap her pussy bald.
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Caroline Kelley
Man: Just you watch, she’s gonna cut him!
–3 train
Man: I don’t know, he only dates guys in jail.
–33rd & Madison
Overheard by: Missy Gartner
Black kid: They’re going to get me for conspiracy! That’s what they did to my brother! He’s spending 8 years in jail for conspiracy…firearms…half an ounce of cocaine…crack cocaine.
–B train
Overheard by: Samantha G
Guy: What book is that?
Girl: The new Harry Potter; it’s the 6th of his 7 years at school.
Guy: 7? Shit. If that author was smart, she would have made high school 10 years.
Girl: Huh?
Guy: Yeah. And that bitch was homeless when she wrote those books.
–F train
Asian girl #1: Who’s that guy that’s not Steve Harvey?
Asian girl #2: Cedric the Entertainer.
Asian girl #1: Yeah, he might have been in The Cookout.
Asian girl #2: Oh my God, that’s so racist. “Who’s that guy that’s not Steve Harvey?”
Asian girl #1: Well, you knew who I was talking about!
–McDonald’s, 85th & 3rd
Overheard by: Aisha Moore
Teen girl: I wonder what Marilyn Monroe does in her spare time.
Teen guy: Lie in her coffin?
–2 train
Hobo: Excuse me, sir? You dropped some change.
Man: What? Where?
Hobo: Bam! In my cup!
–7th Avenue & 4th Street
Girl #1: Stop coughing! Who the fuck do you think you are?
Girl #2: John Lennon.
Girl #1: No. You’re not.
–6th Avenue & 11th Street
