Wednesday One-Liners Are Famous for Being Famous

Chick: When Derek Jeter sees where my new bug bites are, he’s going to go ballistic.

–McDonald’s, 51st & 3rd

Overheard by: Jack

Enlightened film student to dense film student: Y’know, I can’t wait for you to wake up one day, sit straight up in bed with your eyes open wide and realize that Quentin Tarantino sucks ass!

–Borders

Old guy to wife: God, Matthew McConaughey is a fucking faggot. That guy’s been sucking cock since he was born.

–42nd & Broadway

Newspaper peddler: Read all about it! Britney Spears just died! Read all about it!

–Wall St & Broadway

11-year-old girl, leaning on subway pole: I want to jump on this pole like Tila Tequila! She can put her legs up over her head!

–E train, 50th St

Posted on February 20, 2008
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Death, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gripes, Insults, Kids, Liars, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Old People, On the Subway, Restaurants & Cafes, Sports, Store, Students, Vendors & Street Performers, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wishes & desires

President: Aren’t Those Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq?

Girl #1: Oh my god, that kid’s head is stuck between the bars! [Entire bus crowd looks as kid pulls head out.]Girl #2: His head wasn’t stuck.
Boy: Oh my god, is that Hugh Jackman? [Entire bus crowd looks.]

–Bus outside the Met

Posted on February 16, 2008
About Celebrities, Boys, Default, Girls, Lies, On the Bus

Why Old Friends Are So Important

Tourist lady #1, about Barbara Walters nearby: Wow. She looks young.
Tourist lady #2: Please — she’s got makeup on.

–47th & 8th

Overheard by: Dan

Posted on February 9, 2008
About Celebrities, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Tourists

I May Need to Report You to Homeland Security

Teen girl #1: I think Johnny Depp is so super hot! With all his dirty, disgusting hair in Pirates… Mmmm, so hot.
Teen girl #2: I don’t get it. I seem to be the only person who doesn’t find him cute.
Teen girl #1, very serious: I’ve never met anybody quite like you.

–R train

Overheard by: Jen

Posted on February 3, 2008
About Celebrities, Beauty, Compliments, Girls, Gripes, On the Subway, Teens

Exact Moment in Time When “Nigga” Finally Lost Every Shred of Its Former Meaning

Kid #1, listening to friend’s ringtones: What the fuck is this?
Kid #2: That’s John Mayer! Don’t you know who John Mayer is?
Kid #1: [Stares silently.]Kid #2: John Mayer! He’s huge! [Turns to address rest of train] Don’t you know who John Mayer is? John Mayer is the nigga!

–A train

Posted on January 21, 2008
About Celebrities, Kids, On the Subway

Um, I Created a Life.

Stuffy white lady pushing stroller, to friend: I can’t believe people are actually taking Justin Timberlake seriously these days.
Hipster crossing East: He brought sexy back, bitch! What the hell did you do?

–Central Park West

Overheard by: Zora Zero

Posted on January 15, 2008
About Celebrities, Central Park, Strangers

So He Dressed Up Like a Middle-Aged Lesbian?

Middle-aged man: Clint Eastwood dressed up like a woman?
Middle-aged woman: Well, he wore a poncho…

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Mupa-san

Posted on January 12, 2008
About Celebrities, Couples, Grand Central

Says the Guy Who Owns Buffy on DVD?

Thug #1: Man, I still can’t believe you like Britney Spears! Ain’t no real nigga likes Britney Spears! That’s some dumb shit, man. Stupid shit.
Thug #2: Whoa, hol’ up a second — Britney Spears is a nice, attractive woman, and I respect her. How can that possibly be dumb? What the hell’s wrong with that?
Thug #1: Nigga, did you hear what you just said? You ain’t just stupid, you gay!

–3 train

Overheard by: Mike N

Posted on January 6, 2008
About Celebrities, On the Subway, Thugs

I Tune Out When I Hear “Paris Hilton,” Too

Asian guy #1: Paris Hilton. When you’re walking out of an elevator and you see Paris Hilton, it’s like you’re starstruck.
Asian guy #2: Yeah. [They exit.]Middle-aged woman: Yadda, yadda, yadda.

–Elevator, 34th & Broadway

Overheard by: Rita and Laura

Posted on January 4, 2008
About Celebrities, Asians, Elevators, Gripes

So, Um, Whatever Happened to Matt Lauer?

Girl #1: Who is he, again?
Girl #2, screaming: John Norris! He’s old, gap in his teeth, MTV News guy… [Turns and sees he’s been standing right next to her.] Oh! Well, hello there!

–New York Sports Club

Overheard by: anonny

Posted on December 30, 2007
About Celebrities, Girls, Gyms

About Celebrities