Worker: So, where are you from?
Asian guy: Ummm, Fresh Meadows, Queens.
Worker: No, really, where are you from? Like, overseas?
Asian guy: Taiwan.
Worker: Oh. How do you say ‘Hi’?
Asian guy: Ni hao.
Worker: That’s like the same as Chinese right?
Asian guy: Yeah.
Worker: Is it because the countries are really close?
–OMG store, Soho
Overheard by: Larry Liou
Asian guy #1: Paris Hilton. When you’re walking out of an elevator and you see Paris Hilton, it’s like you’re starstruck.
Asian guy #2: Yeah. [They exit.]Middle-aged woman: Yadda, yadda, yadda.
–Elevator, 34th & Broadway
Overheard by: Rita and Laura
Asian chick #1: Don’t the Democrats want war?
Asian chick #2: Ummm… What?!
Asian chick #1: Oh… Wait… George Bush is a Republican?!
–Queens College
Overheard by: Sharon Sloan
Little white boy: Trick or treat?
Asian employee: Here you go.
Little white boy: Thank you, Chinese! Thank you, Chinese!
–Saint Alps Teahouse
Young Asian man to Asian woman with baby, while touching baby’s foot: She is so soft. Does she have bones yet?
Asian mom: Yes, she has bones!
–L train
Overheard by: Lisa
Asian girl: If you had a dick, do you think it would be big? I think mine would be big.
Irish girl: You’re, like, four-foot-eleven! How big could it be?
Asian girl: Oh, it would be big. What about you? Would your dick be big?
Irish girl: No.
Asian girl: But you’re tall! And you have big feet!
Irish girl: It’s the Irish curse.
–4th & 8th
Overheard by: knows what she means
Hot chick: Ohhh, shit! They sell Choco Tacos!
Asian dude: I want to eat a Choco Taco pussy.
Hot chick: Hahaha! Me, too!
–Blockbuster, Houston & Suffolk
Overheard by: Incredible Hulk
Asian queer, looking over his shoulder: I think I jerked him off.
Italian queer: Who?
Asian queer: That guy in the green shirt… It’s pretty bad when you can’t keep track of all the people you’ve jerked off.
–Union Square
Nerd: So, seriously, where are you from?
Weary Asian hipster girl: Earth.
–Outside Forbidden Planet, 13th & Broadway
Overheard by: can’t wait to use that one
Frumpy Asian guy: She’s a Hitler-lover.
Tall Aryan guy: I don’t care about the Hitler-lover thing as long as she’s hot. [High fives are exchanged.]
–Fordham University Rose Hill, Bronx
