Guy #1: Yo, that chick over there has huge tits. You think she’s hot?
Guy #2: Shit, man, definitely.
Guy #1: Man, we should totally be roommates next year.
Guy #2: God, you’re right. [Sip their beers and walk away from each other.]
–Bar, LES
Guy #1: Yo, that chick over there has huge tits. You think she’s hot?
Guy #2: Shit, man, definitely.
Guy #1: Man, we should totally be roommates next year.
Guy #2: God, you’re right. [Sip their beers and walk away from each other.]
–Bar, LES
Frumpy Asian guy: She’s a Hitler-lover.
Tall Aryan guy: I don’t care about the Hitler-lover thing as long as she’s hot. [High fives are exchanged.]
–Fordham University Rose Hill, Bronx
Suit #1: She’s smart, funny, beautiful… What more could you ask for?
Suit #2: Yeah, but she probably votes. I don’t like women that vote.
–Union Station
Overheard by: Jacksonian Democracy
Gym rat #1: Yeah, I go to a great gym… And it’s not a fashion show like other places — people are there to work out.
Gym rat #2: Yeah?
Gym rat #1: Yeah. And the girls there? Oh, man, they are so hot. That is the best thing about it.
–6 train platform, Union Square
Overheard by: rory solomon
30-ish investment banker on cell: She had so much makeup on her face she looked like she had just blown 20 clowns.
–44th & Park
Teen boy in suit: Wow, look at that cute girl!
Teen boy with rolling book bag: Oh, yeah… I’d like to walk next to that.
–Citibank, Forest Hills
Headline by: Trey
Runners-Up:
· “And then I’d hold the fuck out of her hand” – NJgal
· “Chicks dig my sweet wheels” – Marissa
· “I Would Awkwardly Avoid Eye Contact with That Like A Motherfucker” – Leland
· “I’d Carry Her Books So Hard” – Barry P.
· “I’d stick my pen in that pocket protector!” – wannabenyc
Queer: Hey, that guy’s pretty attractive. At least from behind…
Friend: Yeah, I guess so.
Queer: Sometimes that’s all that matters.
—The Apple Tree performance, Studio 54
Overheard by: whatever floats your boat
Little boy spinning DVD rack: Die, ugly people! Die! Die, ugly people!
Mom: Stop that!
Little boy: Die, millionaires, die!
–Duane Reade, 7th Ave & Flatbush, Brooklyn
NYU guy #1: Do you think the Greeks waxed?
NYU guy #2: What?
NYU guy #1: I mean, they always look so smooth in those statues.
–Lafayette & Walker
Overheard by: Chris
Ugly frat boy #1: Dude, you’re right — your sister is very mannish. She looks like a cross between you and Ben.
Ugly frat boy #2: Yeah, I like it that way.
–R train, Park Slope
