Wednesday One-Liners Have a Doctor’s Note

Chick to another: She’s a weed-smoking, modern orthodox girl. I mean, I don’t think she goes to her rabbi’s high, but…

–Brooklyn Museum

Overheard by: cole

Professor: … So the art department on the set just smokes pot all day and paints blue boulders.

–Media Productions class, City College

Mini thug: Yo, I wouldn’t even have to be high out of my mind to enjoy this shit!

–Brooklyn Cyclone, Coney Island

Overheard by: Alie

Smoking model on cell: Um, yeah, he’s cute… But, duh — he’s addicted to opiates!

–Houston & Laffayette

Overheard by: Jake

Hobo to girls: How are you smiling in a city filled with a million crackheads?

–56th & 5th

Guy on a rant in front of Imagine mosaic: In my next life I want to be an amoeba! Make more music, smoke more pot… Eating healthily is expensive! We should all have 40 acres and a mule and start all over!

–Strawberry Fields, Central Park

Overheard by: I’ll have what he’s having

Posted on August 22, 2007
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Arts & Letters, Beauty, Cocaine, Compliments, Food, Gripes, Judaism, Money & Class, Movies, Music, Psychic, Questions, Science, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Weed, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

The American Pie Writers Aren’t Even Trying Anymore

Guy #1: Yo, that chick over there has huge tits. You think she’s hot?
Guy #2: Shit, man, definitely.
Guy #1: Man, we should totally be roommates next year.
Guy #2: God, you’re right. [Sip their beers and walk away from each other.]

–Bar, LES

Posted on August 12, 2007
Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Strangers

I’m in No Position to Find Her Morally Objectionable

Frumpy Asian guy: She’s a Hitler-lover.
Tall Aryan guy: I don’t care about the Hitler-lover thing as long as she’s hot. [High fives are exchanged.]

–Fordham University Rose Hill, Bronx

Posted on August 5, 2007
Asians, Beauty, Dating, Guys, Hitler/Nazis, Nazis, The Bronx

Stepford Wife Technology Can’t Arrive Soon Enough for Me

Suit #1: She’s smart, funny, beautiful… What more could you ask for?
Suit #2: Yeah, but she probably votes. I don’t like women that vote.

–Union Station

Overheard by: Jacksonian Democracy

Posted on July 14, 2007
Assholes, Beauty, Compliments, Politics, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Suits

They Mostly “Work Out” on Poles While I Watch

Gym rat #1: Yeah, I go to a great gym… And it’s not a fashion show like other places — people are there to work out.
Gym rat #2: Yeah?
Gym rat #1: Yeah. And the girls there? Oh, man, they are so hot. That is the best thing about it.

–6 train platform, Union Square

Overheard by: rory solomon