Bimbettes

Hungover girl #1: You and Kevin* seemed to be having a good time last night.
Hungover girl #2: Yeah, it was weird, though… I think one of his teeth fell out while we were making out.
Hungover girl #1: … He has a tongue ring, you idiot.

–Columbia campus

Bimbette #1, after motorcycle zooms by somewhere in the distance: What was that?
Bimbette #2: I dunno… I kinda thought it was a cow.

–Washington Square West

Overheard by: i’m sorry…don’t we live in Manhattan?

Girl #1: Ooh, look at that cool Jesus jacket.
Girl #2: That’s not Jesus, that’s Rick James.

–Broadway & Spring

Overheard by: margie

Bimbette #1: I am so tired.
Bimbette #2: Ew, why?
Bimbette #1: I just, like, have not been able to sleep for the past week.
Bimbette #2: Oooh, that’s probably because of all the crack you’ve been taking.
Bimbette #1: And all the triple espressos! Right, right.

–F train

Guy: My 9 month old nephew visited today, then my dad and stepmom went sailing.
Girl: The baby went sailing too?
Guy: No, you don’t take a baby out on a sailboat!
Girl: Well, why not? I mean as long as it is wearing a life preserver, what’s the problem?

–45th & Broadway

Overheard by: Alex Duke

Hot hipster girl #1: Oh my god, that's a beautiful Buddhist temple!
Hot hipster girl #2: Umm no, that's a Chinese restaurant…
Hot hipster girl #1: Oh well, then it must be really authentic.

–Eldridge & Broome

Drunk queer: I am not gay! Just remind me of that later.

–Bushwick

Overheard by: uninvited party guest

Lemming: Are we still following the Gaylords or are we becoming Independent?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie

Midwesterner: I had a dream that I had a lot of funny faggot friends. It was so much fun! Then I woke up.

–Avents

Metrosexual: So, I’m thinking of becoming gay. What about you? Are you still gay?

–35th & Broadway

Chick on cell: I mean, when it’s just the two of us, he’s really gay — and I’m talking gayer than you — and frankly, that’s gay… And I don’t understand why he can’t just be that gay on stage… So hey, did you hear about that plane crash? Yeah… yeah… yeah, New Yorkers are really sensitive to planes crashing into buildings — something must have happened a while ago or something… Yeah, so I think I’m going to have sex with that guy from Craigslist… Although, he is ten years older than me, so if he’s looking for commitment he can have sex with me while he’s looking… It is not trashy — you can’t do anything trashy in your early 20s. I still have four more years until I have to even start thinking about being too trashy… Hey, can I call you back? I have to call my mom.

–10 express bus

French woman: So this Gaydar… It is like a radar? For the gays?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Latina on cell: I’ll fucking kill him. I will. I’ll fucking kill him. I don’t know. No. He’s not. I just hate it that he thinks he can treat you like that. I mean, I’ll fucking kill him even though he’s a man, you know? I’ll fucking walk up to him and, like, stab him or something. Fuck yeah, I got a knife. I mean, maybe he’s gay, though. That must be it. He’s gay. No, no, no. He’s gay.. He has to be. No, I know he is. It’s a fact. That’s the only thing that makes sense, right? I mean, what other option is there?

–Graham Ave, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Following Quietly Behind

Dark haired girl #1: No, no, you can have an operation to stitch your cherry back up to have it popped again!
Dark haired girl #2: But you can be born with a vagina like that!

–NYU

Blonde: I had to spend 10,000 fucking dollars to get my boobs fixed. They were, like, all puckered and withered.

–43rd and Madison

Shopgirl: You got to go to Hawaii for the summer? You’re so lucky!
Shopqueer: Not so lucky; I had to come back.
Shopgirl: At least you got to get out of the country.

–Urban Outfitters, Upper West Side