Tourist: Yeah, we’re looking for The Olive Garden.
Cop: Really?
–43rd & 7th
Overheard by: Seriously?
Tourist: Yeah, we’re looking for The Olive Garden.
Cop: Really?
–43rd & 7th
Overheard by: Seriously?
Girl: But can’t the police seize it if it’s a crime scene?
Logistical genius: If the police could seize a crime scene, no one in Brooklyn would have a house.
–Backyard barbeque, Fort Greene
Overheard by: inge
Fireman, telling a story about a female fire fighter: She’s one tough woman.
Retired cop: All firemen are tough women.
–Bar, Staten Island
Headline by: Max North
Runners-Up:
· “And Don’t Even Get me Started on Lifeguards…Bunch of Pussies.” – Lindsey
· “Does This Hose Make my Ass Look Big?” – Bones
· “Don’t Get Him Started on Meter Maids…” – colin
· “Firefighters Are From Venus, Cops Are From Jersey” – Hunter North
· “It Makes For an Interesting Calendar” – travis
· “That’s How the Poles Stay so Smooth” – Syd O’Banion
· “They All Refused Anesthesia During the Sex Change Operation” – Johnny D
· “Which Does Much to Explain the Low Salaries” – Jenina
· “You Should See His Burnt Doll Collection” – Matthew
· “You’ll Never Be the Man Your Mother Was.” – Paul
Cop #1: We wouldn’t have so much crime here if Law & Order was set somewhere else. I mean, they’re just giving people ideas, and making them think it’s entertaining.
Cop #2: Uh huh. And the show also makes people think the force is full of skilled, competent officers.
Cop #1: I guess I object to that, too.
–John’s Pizza, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Jebediah
Headline by: Nick
Runners-Up:
· “As Do The Tourists Who Expect Him to Help When They’re Being Mugged” – Sinead
· “But The Worst Part Is, When Lenny Makes A Joke About A Corpse Everyone Thinks It’s Adorable, But When I Do It I Get Some Bitch Widow Calling Me Insensitive” – Kate
· “His remote’s in his holster and his TV is broken.” – Nick
· “I guess Vincent D’Onofrio is skilled, if by skilled you mean unbearable to watch” – that guy
· “I’m more of a Village People Cop than a Law & Order Cop” – ak
· “If the Sci-Fi Channel folded, we wouldn’t have so many alien invasions, either” – Matthew
· “If they brought back Cop Rock, this job would be a cake walk” – tony ska
· “It’s moments like these that make me wish I was set somewher else” – Jenina
· “Wow I was always saying that wrong. So it’s *Life* imitates *Art*?” – srednivashtar
· “You should have seen this town when “Naked City” was on.” – J. A. G.
Homeland security cop #1: Bleah! Bleah! Bleah!
He leans over and pretends to vomit in the gutter. Homeland security cop #2 laughs.
Homeland security cop #1, laughing: That was great! Punch me again!
–Federal Plaza, Duane & Broadway
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Tourist man: Pardon me, officer, can you tell us where Orchard Street is?
Cop: See that naked Chinese guy?
Tourist man: Ummm…Yeah.
Cop: Walk down to him and make a left.
Tourist man: Um, thanks.
Cop: No problem.
–Delancey & Allen
Overheard by: Isaac
Girl: How do I cross the parade?
Cop: Get in line with the rest of the straight people.
–Pride Parade, 14th & 5th
Headline by: Steve
Runners-Up:
· “Chickens have pride, too.” – Gobbling Cock
· “Give It The Old College Try” – Paul K.
· “Maybe a Richard Gere costume” – Corydon
· “Now, Dance! And When We Stop Laughing, You May Cross.” – Andy Adelewitz
· “That, or turn queer on 6th” – Albylicious
· “The Indian and the Construction Worker Were Far More Helpful” – mercavelli
· “The only day of the year when ‘blow me’ isn’t the right answer.” – Jesse Y C
· “Unless of course you’d like to show me some hot girl on girl action.” – Adam
Russian driver: I don’t know, she stop right in front of me.
Cop: She just slammed on the brakes? Why did she do that?
Russian driver: I don’t know, light was yellow. You know, green is go, red is stop, yellow is go faster.
Cop: Sure, absolutely.
–21st Ave & 77th St, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Joel
Conductor: Ladies and Gentlemen, we will be moving shortly. There is a police investigation taking place on this train. Have a nice day.
–F train
Overheard by: scittle
Guy: That the fucking bitch that called the cops on me! That fucking bitch called the cops! You! White trash! White trash! White trash!
Chick: I always knew you were a bigot.
–St. George, SI
