Old man, after having ticket punched: He put holes in my ticket — he ruined it! [Commuter woman laughs, thinking he’s joking.] Why are you laughing? [Commuter woman gives another nervous laugh.] Why are you laughing?!
–LIRR
Overheard by: guingel
Old man, after having ticket punched: He put holes in my ticket — he ruined it! [Commuter woman laughs, thinking he’s joking.] Why are you laughing? [Commuter woman gives another nervous laugh.] Why are you laughing?!
–LIRR
Overheard by: guingel
Customer: I would like a coffee, a white coffee.
Barista: Excuse me, sir? You’d like…white chocolate in your coffee? We don’t do that.
Customer: Mo, I mean…like a black coffee, but with milk…a white coffee?
Barista: Where are you from, sir?
Customer: Near London, in England.
Barista: That’s the fourth one today, you English are crazy!
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: Adrian
Crazy guy: You have sign of werewolf!
Outraged bystander: No, you're the werewolf!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy: (says something in Hindi to friend across the aisle)
Crazy guy: Go on over there, son.
Guy: Do you speak Hindi?
Crazy guy: No, I speak French.
Guy: Well, I was speaking Hindi.
Crazy guy: Well, I was speaking Spanish.
–L Train
Woman babbling in Spanish: Mushrooms! Fuck him! I can’t even tell you how… Fucking mushrooms… Michael Jordan? Really? Oy… It’s like… Uh… I didn’t catch him at the right time, you know?
Man: I don’t know Spanish. You cookin’ dinner tonight? Shit.
–6 train
Overheard by: Lauren Michelle
Crazy old man: So you're telling me that the Japanese are trying to blow up the moon?!
Even crazier old man: Yes! They've been trying for years! But now they're really close!
–Costco
Overheard by: caroline
Crazy woman lights a cigarette on the train.
MTA worker: You cannot do that. There is no smoking on this train. If you do it again I will call the cops, and it’s a 70-dollar fine.
Crazy woman: You look nice. It’s nice to see you again.
–LIRR, Penn Station
Overheard by: someone who does not smoke
Woman: …get on the bus because I’m running late for work.
Crazy lady: I don’t give a rat’s ass if you’re late for work! I don’t care if you get to work and your boss punches you in the face and breaks your nose! I have the right to look for a seat!
Bus: …
Crazy lady storms off the next bus.
Woman: Every day she does that. I can’t take it anymore.
–X37 bus
Crazed woman buying blunt: Put the change in my hand next time or I'll slap the shit out of you.
Oddly calm bodega worker: You'll feel better after you smoke.
–119 St & Lenox Ave
Yarmulke guy: Bush fascista, se tenemos ser la lista! Bush fascista, se tenemos ser la lista!
Woman: Do you think he’s Orthodox?
Man: He’s Orthodox crazy.
–G train
Overheard by: quitecontrarian
