Latin guy behind deli counter: Do you need anything else, ma?
Crazy white lady: Don't call me “ma”! I'm not black, I'm not Spanish! I'm American!
–Key Foods, Park Slope, Brooklyn
Latin guy behind deli counter: Do you need anything else, ma?
Crazy white lady: Don't call me “ma”! I'm not black, I'm not Spanish! I'm American!
–Key Foods, Park Slope, Brooklyn
Person #1, in line for fitting rooms at H&M: How many people actually buy these clothes?
Person #2: A lot.
Person #1: But we live in Westbury, we'll never get to wear these.
–34th St & 7th Ave
Customer: Can I have a large, double-shot latte?
Barista: Do you want milk in your latte?
Customer: Yes…
–Dunkin' Donuts
Overheard by: Julie
Subway employee: And what kind of cheese would you like on your turkey?
Woman: Tomato.
–Subway, 98th St & Broadway
Guy: Do you have any Irish Spring soap?
Cashier: No, I don't know what that is.
Guy: Irish Spring soap! To wash your balls with! Don't you wash your balls?
–Grocery, Flatbush Ave
Overheard by: Diana
Heavily accented barista: Vat can I get forrr you?
Customer: I'll have a tall, iced, nonfat latte…I like your accent. Are you from Brazil?
Heavily accented barista: No, I'm from Bulgaria.
Customer: Oh. Is that near Brazil?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: *smacks forehead with hand*
McDonald's cashier: Next!
Teenage girl: Yeah, I'd like a chicken nugget Happy Meal, girl toy, but can you put it in a normal bag?
McDonald's cashier: A bag?
Teenage girl: Yeah, instead of the Happy Meal box.
McDonald's cashier, perplexed: But it's a Happy Meal…
Teenage girl: This isn't a difficult concept. A Happy Meal. Chicken nuggets. Girl toy. In the bag the other food comes in.
McDonald's cashier, perplexed: But it's a Happy Meal. They come in a box.
Teenage girl: Okay, can you give me an extra bag, then?
McDonald's cashier, perplexed: Okay!
–McDonald's
Employee #1, to customers with a baby: That is the cutest baby I have ever seen!
Employee #2: I think my boyfriend and I would have an ugly baby.
Employee #1, in front of couple: No. Ugly people usually have the cutest babies!
–Subway
Overheard by: Drew
Customer: I'd like a venti passion tea lemonade please.
Barista: Sorry, we're out of venti cups.
Customer: Okay, can you just put it in two tall cups then?
Barista: Sure, no problem.
Barista, after ringing up customer: That's $5.98.
Customer: Um, a venti lemonade is $3.55.
Barista: Yes, but you ordered two tall lemonades.
–Starbucks, Queens
Barista to client: Today is the first day of summer, so it's the longest day of the year!
Client: Oh, yeah, how long is it exactly?
Cashier: I dunno, like 27 hours or something.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Brie
