Yuppie mother: Now, what do you want for dinner? Do you want pizza and edamame?
Kid: Hot dog!
Yuppie mother: Well, how about some baked tofu?
Kid: Hot dog!
Yuppie mother: Or maybe some pesto pasta?
Kid: Hot dog!
–M14 bus
Overheard by: eye-rolling art student
Hipster #1: I’ve always wanted to taste people-meat, you know?
Hipster #2: What? Dude, that’s sick!
Hipster #1: No, I mean, like baked or fried. Like, maybe we taste like chicken, you know?
Hipster #2: Nah, man.
Hipster #1: I don’t know. Just to say I did it.
Hipster #2: Yeah, I guess.
–15th & 2nd
Overheard by: Jane
Female doctor: How’s your baby?
Male doctor: Oh, you know — small.
–Beth Israel Medical Center
Overheard by: Blackbuttoneyes
Girl: Would you still love me if I was fat?
Guy: Well, I don’t love you now. You being fat would probably make it so that I wouldn’t even hang out with you.
–Rockefeller Center train station
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
Ana #1: I just did it to jump start my diet.
Ana #2: You smoked crack.
Ana #1: Just for a couple weeks, to lose the initial weight.
Ana #2: And then what did you do?
Ana #1: Now I just eat half an avocado a day.
–Equinox, Greenwich St
Hobo woman: Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for…
Non-hobo man: Oh, hell no!
Hobo woman: … for interupting you during your trip. I’m homeless…
Non-hobo man: I’m homeless, too! Shut-up!
Homeless woman: And I’m two months pregnant…
Non-hobo man: You ain’t pregnant! You just fat! Sit-down and shut-up!
–F train
Overheard by: Brooklyn Dodgy
Middle-Aged guy #1: Ted, is that you?! You look great, you’re tan, you’re thin–what happened?!
Middle-Aged guy #2: I moved to LA last year. I’m just in town for business.
Middle-Aged guy #1: Of course!
–57th & 1st
Overheard by: Pale CT mess
Anorexic dancer #1: Dude, so I only have to lose like, twelve more pounds.
Anorexic dancer #2: No way! I’ll never get cast in the workshop performance if I don’t break one hundred.
Anorexic dancer #1: Yeah, you should just give up now.
–School of American Ballet
Skinny fashionista: If you just eat like I eat and exercise, you’ll lose weight. I swear!
Normal woman: But you hardly eat anything. Don’t you get hungry?
Skinny fashionista: You are totally missing the point!
–Bar, Soho Grand
Overheard by: Manhattman
Tourist kid: Mom, am I fat?
Tourist mom: Yes. Now get in the airplane.
Tourist kid: Dad says I’m husky.
Tourist mom: That means fat.
–U.S.S. Intrepid
