Bimbette #1: Wait, I have to figure out where I am.
Bimbette #2: You are at Broadway and Houston.
Bimbette #1: No, I mean metaphysically…
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: KrisNYC
Bimbette #1: Wait, I have to figure out where I am.
Bimbette #2: You are at Broadway and Houston.
Bimbette #1: No, I mean metaphysically…
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: KrisNYC
Tourist: Excuse me, ma’am? Can you tell me how to get to the Golden Gate Bridge?
Local, after long pause: Up two blocks, make a left. You can’t miss it.
–Union Square
Obnoxious woman: Excuse me, excuse me! Do you know where Park Place is?
Jaded youth: Next to Boardwalk.
Obnoxious woman: Where is that?
–E Broadway
Overheard by: Mr. Money Bags
Third grader: The only thing people know about New York the state is that Washington, DC is in it.
–Essex & Houston
Chick to friend: God, it’s not like we’re some third world country like Puerto Rico!
–33rd & 3rd
Overheard by: cait
Girl on cell: But I’m all the way downtown. I’m literally about as far downtown as you can get.
–13th & Broadway
Asian chick on cell: Amsterdam. It’s in Sweden… Or Switzerland… Oh, I don’t know. I have to go now.
–1 train, UWS
Overheard by: minerfa
Little girl looking at a Queens bus map: Donde esta Bolivia?
–Q38 bus, Elliot Ave, Queens
Overheard by: eMily
Tourist: Excuse me, how do I get to Times Square?
Ghetto dude: This is Times Square.
Tourist, slower and louder: No. Times Square.
Ghetto dude, slower and louder: This is Times Square.
Tourist: No, I’m looking for the actual square. Where’s the square?
Ghetto dude: Oh, you want the square… Go down six blocks, turn left, and go down three. You can’t miss it.
Tourist: Hey, thanks a lot, man.
Ghetto dude: Dumb fuck.
–42nd & Broadway
Passenger: Hi, I’d like to go to Rivington and Ludlow, please.
Cabbie: I don’t know where that is.
Passenger: That’s okay, I’ll show you how to get there.
Cabbie: But then how will I know how to get back?
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Charlemagne
Info booth lady: I only have this map — it’s really not very helpful at all.
Tourist: Great! Thank you! This is exactly what I need!
–N train
Tourist on cell: I am looking at a big board that says LIRR. This can’t be Pennsylvania station.
Commuter: Hey, schmuck — LIRR is in Penn Station.
Tourist on cell: Oh, I am in the right place. Someone was nice enough to give me directions.
–Penn Station
Teen girl #1: Yeah, Florida is totally North of New York.
Teen girl #2: Are you kidding me? No, it’s not.
Teen girl #1: Yeah, it is! I mean, like, you drive North to the airport, right? And South of New York is just, like… water.
Teen girl #2, staring in disbelief: Wow.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Shocked
Tourist lady: Excuse me, do you work here?
Employee: Yes, ma’am. Can I help you?
Tourist lady: Yes. Where are the toilets, please?
Employee: Up the escalators and take a left.
Tourist lady: Thank you. Number one or number two?
Employee: Well… You can do either, ma’am…
–Toys “R” Us, Times Square
