College chick: …its intended use is for tobacco and that’s my story.
–Barnard College
Guy on cell : Yo, it’s fine, I’ll just get some other dude’s piss.
–104th and Amsterdam
Lady standing all alone (aside from the contributor): Michael, you might want to move out of the way of those people.
–Penn Station
Woman #1: Why shouldn’t I trust him? Because he’s gay?
Woman #2: No. Because he might be Jeffrey Dahmer.
Woman #1: He might be Jeffrey Dahmer?
Woman #2: Yeah. I just don’t trust anyone.
Woman #1: You’re friends with crackheads!
–N Train
Man shouting to woman nearby: Yo! You better hurry up. I got you a ride. I'm going straight to the bridge, and I ain't stopping for no crack!
–Amsterdam Ave & 92nd St.
Overheard by: Dana
Girl in dress to friends: And that was the first time I sucked dick for crack…
–10th St & Ave A
Man to another as he walks away: Don't spend it all in one crackhouse.
–SoHo
Woman, yelling at man twenty feet ahead: Hey! Don't walk away from me. At least you got crack yesterday!
–Broadway & 96th St
Hipster chick: Popping a blister is like smacking god in the face!
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Alice
Homeless man on train begging for money by telling jokes: A black man and a white man go into a bar. They get into a fight with each other. And then they die. And then they go to heaven and god says to them: "What it is… what it is!"
–1 Train
Overheard by: Kristin
Girl to friend: I’m gonna have to get ghetto on god!
–61st & Broadway
Overheard by: lizzerd
Homeless man says to homeless woman: Now, these people are trying to hoodwink god!
–Seventh Ave & Lincoln Place, Park Slope
Overheard by: Annie
Professor to students: God is not a drug dealer!
–Fordham University
Girl #1: So, basically, if I keep having sex with him I continue to get drugs for free.
Girl #2: No one ever offers me drugs for sex.
Girl #1: Well, I guess you just don’t have that street-whore quality about you.
–E train
Overheard by: melanie
Passenger to woman stumbling on crowded train and talking to herself: Shut up and take a shower you crackhead!
Drug-addled woman: I'm not a crackhead, I'm a dope-fiend!
–A Train
Overheard by: david
Girl: What are you doing later?
Guy: Well, I was gonna go home, eat something, do some schoolwork, and then smoke some weed and do some coke. Want some?
Girl: Absolutely.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Only if we can do lines off Lina’s* tits.
Guy: … Oh my god, I want to date you.
–The Met
Guy on cell: I’m in a… Oh, what’s the word I’m looking for? … Crack-infested neighborhood.
–9th & 26th, Queens
Overheard by: B. D.
Disheveled punk teen girl: No! My 72-hour drug binge is starting now!
–14th & University
Overheard by: rachel
Crazy lady: … So I hung the crack pipe on the cross which gave me the right to say no to drugs… Hallelujah!
–2 train
Overheard by: with a K
Suit on cell: Yeah, I talked to him the other day. Right? I think he turned gay. Or he had a drug abuse problem.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Nick
Lady: I’m ready to yodel! Do I smell hashish?!
–Central Park SummerStage
Fiction professor: I would find writing about investment bankers very difficult because I find them boring when I meet them. I start to like them when they start snorting coke. Then their dialogue becomes much more interesting.
–The New School
Middle-aged lady on cell: I need to start sniffing more glue.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Amy Jill
Goth boy: Either I just saw Gollum eating sushi off of Rose Cotton’s naked body, or I am coked up to the gills!
–E train
Overheard by: Biff Largemeats
Chick: Ya know, I gotta say, you really do need to take drugs to be interesting. ‘Cuase without ’em, you’re really boring.
–Rue B, Avenue B
Overheard by: Lisa Ramaci
Guy: I can’t do acid but I can do shrooms. Especially shroom tea.
–Houston & Essex
Overheard by: Joel
Artsy girl: It’s made me so much more creative, and that’s, like, so much more important for my art than anything else. And the buzz is great, too.
–14th & 5th
Guy: Oh I always have a Metrocard on me…they’re great for cutting up coke.
–Astor Place station
Chick: It’s not like there’s a moral high ground when it comes to methadone.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Sara Beane
Girl on cell: I know, that’s the worst! You have to try that towel-on-the-floor thing, and that never works.
–18th & 5th
Overheard by: jaykayess
Creepster: Hey there… do you like drugs? … How about Gandhi?
–Chambers &and West Broadway
Girl on cell: So I opened the envelope on the train… Yeah it was heroin.
–W 46th Ave
Bum: Excuse me! Hey, hey! Excuse me! Check it out! I am going to smoke crack all fucking night, and there isn’t anything anyone can do about it, because that’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to smoke so much crack!
–West 4th at Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Cory
Guy to hungover girl: Everyday you look more and more like you do heroin.
–Relish Bar & Grill
Preppy dude: I like doing drugs too much to be a Buddhist.
–Arlene’s Grocery
Mom to ten-year-old son: … But that’s like saying heroin is the only drug to try!
–14th St & 9th Ave
