Girl: But I’m graduating soon, so I don’t need spoons anymore!
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Girl: But I’m graduating soon, so I don’t need spoons anymore!
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Old white lady, leaving table with a flourish: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom to shoot up.
Lemongrass
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Loves Her Some Thai Food
Stoner #1: The other day I saw this homeless guy, and I felt bad, and I had just bought a stack, so I gave him some weed. He was like: “Thank you very much.”
Stoner #2: Are you serious?
Stoner #1: Yeah. I don’t care what anybody says, that was the most down shit ever. I fucking love bums.
Chino, California
Bro dawg #1: Dude, I totally passed my drug test!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome! [High five.]Bro dawg #1: Yeah, I think the LSD and the coke totally canceled each other out!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome!
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Not gonna pass his drug test
Girl on cell: Wait! (pause) So, it's a gang for crippled people?
Orlando, Florida
Stoner #1: … And it burned the whole way down! Seriously, I think my throat hemorrhaged.
Stoner #2: Well at least you didn’t eat nine bowls of pudding.
Kansas State University, Manhattan
Overheard by: I wish I heard the beginning…
Student: Crack cocaine is the best thing since fried rice!
UC San Diego
San Diego, California
Professor: Carbon-14 is an unstable marriage. He’s putting cocaine up his nose while she’s working hard. It can’t last, you know. That’s expensive.
Berea College
Kentucky
Professor: You can't look at a record and hear the music…unless you're really baked.
Decatur, Illinois
Hipster chick #1: Yeah, we did opium last night.
Hipster chick #2: How was that?
Hipster chick #1: I vomited until my ears popped.
Hipster chick #2: Awesome!
Blue Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Eve
