Guy #1 (wearing do-rag): You know why I wear this shit, man?
Guy #2: Nah, man, why?
Guy #1: Because I love the stare. I love it when some dumb white guy stares at me and asks why I wear this so I can curse the shit out of that mothafucka!
–14th & 1st
Kid behind a guy in a Fubu jersey: Dad, who’s Fubu?
Dad: That’s the guy’s name, son
–Penn Station
Girl #1: Ben’s hot, but I think he’s gay.
Girl #2: No way. Why?
Girl #1: He asked me if my carpet matches my drapes.
Girl #2: I don’t think he’s gay.
Girl #1: Oh yeah?
Girl #2: Call him up and tell him he can chew on your carpet!
Girl #1: What?
–Central Park
Girl: I did, I saw Uma Thurman in Les Mis.
Guy: She wasn’t in Les Mis.
Girl: Not on stage, on TV.
Guy: She wasn’t in Les Mis on TV.
Girl: I thought it was her, or someone else with that cross-eyed look.
–42nd & 8th
Guy #1: I think she’s Mexican.
Guy #2: Nah, she can’t be Mexican, I’ve been there, they cute but short.
Guy #1: Yeah, now that you mention it, she is a little too tall to be Mexican, but I don’t care, I’ll still hit it.
Guy #2: I’ll hit it and help her get her papers if she doesn’t have them. I’m all for amnesty in the name of getting laid.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Tydestra, who speaks English
Hipster looking at parade thug boy wearing flag: Oh look, it’s Puerto Rican Superman.
Hipster’s mom: Shhhh! He heard you.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Judy
College queer #1, trying to squeeze into seat at crowded table: Oh god, I’m too fat!
College queer #1: No you’re not. Then I wouldn’t be your friend.
–All About Food, NYU
Overheard by: Pri
Guy: Did you hear back from the modeling agency?
Girl: Yeah, it was Foot Fetish Palace. I have to call them back.
Guy: Oh my god you’re in porn?! This is why we’re friends.
–20th between 8th & 9th
Overheard by: I’m just trying to get to the theatre
Girl #1: So my co-worker is kinda cute, kinda not. Like Jersey-cute. No offense.
Girl #2: Jersey cute?
Girl #1: Yeah, fake tan, big muscles, clearly injects.
Girl #2: Oh, you mean Guido cute!
Girl #1: Guido, yeah, that’s the word I was looking for.
–52nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Just Walking
Suit: Do you see that guy? He’s wearing a suit and sneakers!
Coffee vendor: Um…
Suit: I can’t believe that! I really think guys like that should be lined up and shot on Broadway.
–Broad & Wall St
Overheard by: alxie
